I am genderfluid. For those of you who don't know, that means that I don't identify with one specific gender, and the gender I feel I am changes. Additionally, someone can feel they are one specific gender for years on end and still be genderfluid since their gender isn't always constant.
Part of the process of coming out involved me changing my name (not legally yet), and preferred pronouns. I decided to use they / their / them. For any of you gender questioning people out there who don't know what to choose, try having a trusted friend use those pronouns with you for a bit and see if they fit. Genderfluidity is a spectrum, so people can decide upon a number of different pronouns or a combination of them. Some people slide from non-binary to girl, so they may accept both she / her / her's and they / their / them. I myself find that I can go from boy to girl, anywhere in between and non-binary. Part of being genderfluid is fielding questions, and facing the inevitable transphobia.
It doesn't matter that they / their / them used to be a plural pronoun. People also used he to refer to humans in general. For example, it used to be acceptable to say, "A worker must punch in by 9 a.m. He must then put on the boots." We then switched to writing or saying he or she, "A worker must punch in by 9 a.m. He or she must then put on the boots." This change was made to make room for an identity that wasn't being properly represented by the English language. He or she was made acceptable in English grammar because we decided that it wasn't inclusive to just say "he."
When I tell people that I use they / their / them pronouns the first response is usually, "But that is plural." This is quite frustrating as the people who say that also say things like "sup" and "ain't." The refusal to use these pronouns or adamant condemnation of use is nothing but transphobia though it may be dressed up in excuse of proper grammar. People break grammar rules all the time, and the biggest culprits of this are native English speakers. These same people, after I drop my pronouns like the hottest album of 2016, immediately turn into Oxford educated English professors. Language isn't described by natural laws. We can't look at the genes of the word "they" and conclude that it has the plural allele. "They" is a random sequence of letters that has historically been used to refer to people in the plural. It has now become necessary, just as the addition of "she," to use "they" as a singular pronoun.
If you meet someone that uses different pronouns, then you would assume, practice! It is the most wonderful feeling hearing your correct pronouns and having your gender expression respected. If you do mess up, and it happens, just politely correct yourself. "He, I'm sorry, they..." Don't linger on it, don't apologize profusely calling unneeded attention on it. For the love of god, don't talk about how hard it is to use they / their / them pronouns. It doesn't matter how many times you mess up, or get corrected. Don't do it. However, hard it is for you to change an ingrained speech pattern, it is so much harder to be constantly be thought of as "other" in a gendered world.
By complaining about the pronouns I use, you are basically saying that my identity bothers you, so I should have just not told you. It says that you think it is more uncomfortable to use correct pronouns than to actually be trans. You don't have to go through worrying about your safety because of your identity, or worry about going home. You don't have to worry about who you can reveal an integral part of your identity to. You don't have to worry about being fired by a transphobic boss, or getting harassed in a bathroom. You do have to worry about using correct pronouns, but apparently that was too much for you to handle.
So here is to you, they, you are a wonderful pronoun. For those of you who don't like it, please don't talk to me about it and quietly say your transphobic garbage into your pillow at night instead of subjecting human ears to it.
