Let me come clean. During my my junior and senior years of high school, I was a Promzilla in the highest degree. And if I had to go back and do it all over again, I’d still be a Promzilla.

All my life, prom had come across to me as an important milestone in a woman’s life. There was even a time when I held it to a higher standard than any other life event, including my wedding. My mother and grandmother were both prom queens, and even though I knew I’d never be “popular” enough to win prom queen because I went to a huge high school (side note: what the hell does popularity mean anyway?), it was of super important that I at least felt like the prettiest girl in the room. I was on prom committee two years in a row, designed the centerpieces for my senior prom, spent an obscene amount of money on both of my prom dresses, and did literally everything I could to make sure that my prom went as smoothly and perfectly as possible. Of course, no matter how hard I tried, my prom journey (by the way, only a Promzilla would have a “prom journeys”) was not perfect. Hell, my senior prom date left the corsage in his car and it died from the heat before it even got on my wrist, so it wasn’t even close to being perfect! So here’s the first thing I want you to know about your prom: it will not go perfectly.

If you’re busting your behind to make sure your prom is the magical, special, perfect night you’d always hoped it would be, chances are you’re a Promzilla. You may be lying to yourself saying that you aren’t, but come back in a year and read this again because I bet you’ll agree. And I can’t stress enough that even though not everything will be perfect or go according to plan, you will still have a blast if you don’t let it ruin your prom night. Did the people who I was supposed to ride in a limo with leave me out of the group? Yep. Did the valedictorian of my class also win Prom Queen? Of course. And did my date (who is now my ex-boyfriend, I don’t think you need to guess why) kill my corsage by not taking it into his house? Absolutely. And I definitely got upset about all of those things, but I saved it for the next day because I put my Promzilla craziness aside and made the best of those precious moments.

And really, don’t put too much pressure on your date. I never had a promposal because both dates for both of my proms assumed we were going together because we'd been talking about it for months, and nothing about that changed my prom night. You don’t need an elaborate promposal in order to have a prom. Your parents didn’t have promposals and they turned out okay! Better yet, you really don’t need a date at all. Unless you have a boyfriend, in which case he’d better be going with you, prom can sometimes be even more fun if you just travel with your gal pals as a pack of hot, single ladies. Besides, going with a friend can get risky sometimes because something about prom makes people catch feelings… so if you’re not trying to get emotionally pummeled or have your date catch feelings, be super careful with your date situation.

What I do want you to do, however, is to indulge yourself. You only get one prom night, and you obviously don’t want to have any regrets. So do whatever you have to do, as long as you don’t break the bank or your sanity. Buy the expensive dress that looks great on you, spend a little extra money to have your hair done the right way, have your pictures taken in the most beautiful spot you can possibly think of, take the party bus, and go to the after-party. If your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, or grandparents want to be part of your prom, let them! These memories are so important, and you’ll only remember them more if they’re shared with the people you love most. I’ll admit that I was spoiled and that my family arguably enabled me to be a Promzilla. And that was fine, because they understood that I only had one prom.

So, here’s to you, Promzilla. You’re taking advantage of these final days of high school, being a kid, and not having adult responsibility. You’re going to be the most beautiful girl in the room regardless of what happens because you’re being how you want to be. This sounds corny, I know, but

your prom will be the best night of your life if you come as you are. Breathe, put your dress on, and smile. Make the best of it, Promzilla, and don’t let the haters bring you down. This night is important to you, and that’s the exact secret to making your prom perfect!