Problems Of An Introvert

Problems Of An Introvert

We're not antisocial. We're just introverts.
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I'm sure you have come across someone who is an introvert in your life. Whether that be a friend, a roommate, a family member, or it could be yourself. As an introvert myself, I have found many difficulties. As I was scrolling through Tumblr the other day, I found a post that I REALLY liked. It was a post on problems that introverts face. I decided to write an article on these issues and really elaborate on them so that extroverts can get a better understanding of how we live and react in certain situations.


1. LOUD NOISES MAKE YOU ANXIOUS

I think this is my biggest problem as an introvert. I mean, yeah, I go to concerts and stuff, and I really enjoy doing so. But it's not an everyday thing. I have to mentally prepare myself for concerts. People don't understand that loud talking, loud music, or talking to yourself is very worrisome for an introvert. We tend to stray away from drama too. Loud noises give us ANXIETY. (I plan to write an article on anxiety in the near future to further explain this). A personal experience is when I attend music class. The loud music that is foreign to me REALLY gets my nerves going. I know it's a part of what I have to do, but opera music especially gets to me. Also, when I'm in my dorm, and I hear screaming in the hallway, I cringe. Fire alarms, sporting events... they all contribute to an introvert's anxiety. That also contributes to our lack of social skills.

2. The moment in a social setting where you just want to leave, simply because you've been around people too long

Yes. We are people-phobic. Not to say that we don't attend social situations... we just... feel uncomfortable sometimes in social occurrences. Introverts like "me time" a lot. Again, lots of people can make us anxious. Which brings me to my next point:

3. When you really want to attend a social situation, but don't want to be the first one to leave... again

Introverts aren't necessarily antisocial. We like to get out and have fun just like the rest of the people in the world. But this goes back to the previous point of being "people-phobic". We also get claustrophobic in social situations. I know that I love going to parties on campus and stuff like that, but I just burn out so quickly. I am always the first to leave! My roommate tells me, "C'mon, stay! It's fun! We've only been here an hour." Well, roomie, that hour is enough for me. :) We can only tolerate so much socializing.

4. When your friends won't leave you alone because they think you're "upset"

Okay. 80% of the time, I'm not upset. I'm just in my "bubble". My bubble is my "me time". I'm not mad at you. I'm just not feeling social. If I don't engage in the conversation, it's probably because I'm trying to absorb it all. Or it could just be that I have nothing to say. That doesn't mean I'm mad. I'm not an angry person.

5. People label us as "judgmental"

Again, when we don't engage in social situations or conversations, THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE JUDGING YOU. We just don't know what to say sometimes. We are not good at participating in conversation. That's why we don't. We don't want to say the wrong things. That's why a lot of introverts like to write. Because we can plan out what we want to say... and we have a backspace key. Life, however, has no backspace key!


A lot of this connects with having anxiety. My next article will probably be based on that. I just want people to have a clear understanding on introverts. No, we're not mean, we're not judgmental, and we're not always upset. We just keep to ourselves and enjoy being alone deep in thought.

Cover Image Credit: http://introvertspring.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Just-my-face.jpg

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12 Things Only Low Maintenance Girls Understand

I promise we aren’t lazy, just easy going.
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Sometimes low maintenance girls are looked at as lazy or sloppy. But in reality, I think low maintenance girls are just so confident in who they are that putting in that extra effort isn't important to them.

Here are 12 things that only low maintenance girls understand:

1. Leggings or sweat pants and a t-shirt is your normal everyday outfit

Why spend the day uncomfortable in some tight jeans or mini skirt when you can lounge around in some comfy clothes. We aren’t here to impress anyone, we are just trying to sit back and chill.

2. Makeup is a special occasion

If you catch a low maintenance girl with makeup on, take it as a compliment. We are trying to touch our face and rub our eyes as much as we'd like without makeup getting in the way. Not to mention, we wouldn’t dare spend over $15 on some foundation.

3. We would rather stay in with a movie then go out for the evening

Something low-key and low stress always sounds better than spending the time, and the money, for a night out. I am perfectly content with taking advantage of my $7.99 monthly payment for Netflix.

4. You’re always the first one ready

While your friends spend hours doing their hair, makeup and then finding the perfect outfit, you sit around and wait. Your 10 minutes thrown-together-look gives you time to nap while everyone else takes their sweet time.

5. When you say you "don’t care what we do," you really don’t care

Seriously, a date night off the McDonald’s dollar menu is fine by me. I am not expecting you to wine and dine me on a big extravagant evening, I’m just trying to get a Big Mac in my mouth.

6. Your messy bun isn’t a fashion statement, it’s actually just your hairstyle

We aren’t about to spend time curling or straightening our hair everyday. Every day is a good day to throw your hair up into a ponytail or bun.

7. The extent of your jewelry collection is one pair of earrings and maybe a necklace

Who needs more than one pair of earrings? Diamond studs match everything…right?

8. And your shoe collection is even smaller

Should I wear flip flops or converse?

9. Shopping isn’t exactly your favorite thing to do

Who has patience for finding the perfect designer brands or finding the best fit? I am perfectly content with my t-shirts and leggings. One size fits all.

10. Your favorite gifts are the sentimental ones, not the expensive ones

A homemade card or a small gift that makes someone think of you is forever better and more meaningful than an expensive present. I don’t want your money, I just want to know you thought of me

11. You don't put in the effort to chase after a guy

I'm awesome and I know it. If a guy is worth it enough to be in my life, he can come after me. I am not down for any games or players. Just someone who embraces my low maintenance qualities.

12. You are always the first person to help someone out

Giving your friends a ride or lending them two dollars isn't a huge deal. Just helping someone out gives you peace of mind. Everyone should have time to help a homie out.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.cosboots.com/sale/christmas/christmas.html

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To Love a Broken Vase — An Ode To Valentine's Day

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." --David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

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I remember an anecdote my elementary school teacher told us in the fifth grade. When a mother is pregnant with a child, they feel comfortable in their flesh. Provided with everything they needed to survive, they don't have to worry about anything. It's not until after they are born and the umbilical chord is severed that they realized they were not good enough, and insecurities fester.

I went through a similar process when I was growing up. Contained within my family and books, I felt like I held the world in my hands. It was not until high school where I seriously sought out others for company and wanted to apply myself to the social universe. And I saw myself changing in not only my behaviors, but how I see myself within the world.

With working hard to get good grades, with trying to get my driver's license, and becoming a better person overall, I realized the process involved a lot more effort than I ever had expected. And I found myself unprepared for the slow drudgery of it all. While I once pushed through to get things done, now I find myself giving up on projects while coming up with new ones. I frequently turned to my laptop for solace, as it kept my fantasies alive, but it also stole time away from me.

These behaviors showed in my relationships: I found it hard to meet up with friends, and my parents started worrying about what would my future look like. With the latter, I've had multiple conflicts with them, with me asserting I wanted to be free from everything, including accountability. Of course, that perception was quite unrealistic — to love and be loved, as well as to succeed, there has to a tug to know when you're doing something wrong.

***

A year ago, I wrote an article about how I saw romantic love from somebody who has never been in a relationship. Many things still apply today — I'm better off working towards my educational and career goals than seeking out love, though with Valentine's Day, it still fascinates me on whether or not I could be loved from somebody else.

From what I've heard from others, they would be charmed by my intelligence and kindness, neither fulfilling the stereotype of a nerd nor the perfect angel. However, the naivete would also put someone off, and potentially puts them in danger. I also see myself as the spontaneous type, but to the point where I forget where my priorities are, again making them worse than they really are. I imagine they would be intrigued by me as a friend or a lover, but end up breaking away after a short amount of time.

I don't imagine finding myself loving other people in the short term; however, I find myself open towards others. And that what makes me more afraid about how people view me--will they not be able to see the positives in myself when the time comes? Will they be just as capable of forgiving me the same way my family does?

At the end, I should take my friend's advice for Valentine's Day — love oneself. And take actions to make sure that I can love myself deeper and further.

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