I was recently scrolling through Pinterest or Facebook (I am not sure which one) when I saw an article titled, "30 Dating Habits We Should Make Trendy Again." At first I was like, "Seriously?" Then I got on a mental rant expressing my frustration with our generation's "dating trends."
On this list of trendy dating habits were things like a guy holding the door open for a girl, opening a car door, paying for dinner, kisses on the cheek. *Insert irritated emoji here*.
Really?
I am not the type of girl who dates just anyone. I am not the type of girl who allows myself to be disrespected, either. These things are nice, and they make you feel so special, but honestly the guy is expected to hold the door open and pay for meals (even though I often feel bad about it). He is expected to treat you with respect and honor. The same goes for the women, too. We are to respect our man, not to flirt and go out with several guys at once or just date to get attention or to make someone else jealous. We are to respect and honor our man just as they are expected to respect and honor us. If this respect and honor aren't there, then it is time to move on to bigger and better things.
A quality relationship isn't about trends, it is about mutual respect.
The problem with trendy dating habits is that for some reason we started dating trends in the first place. Currently, the process of dating in our generation moves from hanging out to talking to dating, and then to "being pretty serious" then to getting engaged to married and to...divorced. Ouch. That one stung, didn't it?
Our divorce rates are higher than they have ever been. The primary reason for that, you ask? It became trendy. It used to be completely unacceptable for anyone to divorce, but then celebrities and other important figures began to get divorced and it just became the norm. Now people get married and divorced multiple times in a lifetime.
Our generation has made it trendy to get into relationships where quality conversations don't happen, foundational principles aren't the same, and beliefs are not shared. Our generation would rather embrace the "fake it till you make it" attitude. Our generation just wants love and happiness yet we choose to ignore the red flags that show up in relationships. These red flags cause bitterness and anger down the road due to unhealthy conflict in the relationship—the exact opposite of what we want.
So instead of worrying about what is trendy, in style, or popular, maybe we should be more concerned with developing relationships with meaning and focusing more on getting to know a person rather than whether or not they open the door or kiss us on the cheek. Maybe we should develop relationships with another person being completely open about who we are and the hurt and the pain we have experienced. This way later down the road, that hurt and pain don't progress into violence and anger. However, quality relationships with good conversation and shared foundational values accompany mutual respect and love.
I don't know about you, but if trendy is divorce then I am going to stay away from the trends and burn my own path. I am going to develop quality a relationship with solid conversations and shared core values so, as a couple, we can grow individually and together. When things get rough and difficult, we will cling to one another and God rather than looking for a divorce or the easy way out. Then when we come out on the other side of the problem, we will be a stronger couple than when we started.
