The Problem With Snapchat

The Problem With Snapchat

Snapchat was not meant to take the place of picking up the phone and calling somebody when you want to have a deep conversation.
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I had a Snapchat for most of high school, I then deleted it for several reasons. I went almost two whole years without snapping until I got to college where I noticed that everybody was on Snapchat on the way to class, during class, after class, and even while getting ready in the dorm bathrooms (not even kidding.) So I decided to give Snapchat another shot. This time I only lasted about two months until I kissed my Snapchat goodbye forever.

When it came to Snapchat in college I noticed several problems that lead to kissing my account goodbye. The first problem was that everybody is constantly on Snapchat. I was especially guilty of this. I constantly checked stories and snapped my friends 24/7. I was on it so much that I knew what everybody was eating, exactly how much they drank when they went out, where exactly they were, who they were with, and so much more. I knew everything about everybody because I was constantly loading and reloading my Snapchat. This was a problem for two reasons, the first being that I wasn’t enjoying the people around me as much as I should have been because my face was glued to checking in on the people who weren’t even around me.

The second problem was the fact that we all seem to Snapchat everything. When I said that I knew what everybody was eating, how much they drank, and exactly who they were with, I wasn’t kidding. For some odd reason we feel the need to share everything with everybody, especially on Snapchat. I was guilty of this and I don’t know why I found so much pleasure in sharing every little thing that I was doing because honestly, who cares? Since deleting my Snapchat I found myself having more conversations with people face to face because my face wasn’t glued to my phone trying to snap artsy pictures of my food.

And that’s another problem with Snapchat. It seems to me that now people feel that it is okay to go to dinner with friends and instead of engaging in meaningful conversation, we choose to snap pictures of our food and Snapchat the friends that aren’t even at dinner. If you don’t believe that people do this just low key watch a table of girls when they go to dinner together and I promise you will see at least one of them take a selfie that will no doubt be on their story or sent to a friend. Since deleting my Snapchat I realized just how rude it is to be snapping away while at dinner with friends, family, and classmates. I’ve also found that people feel that sending a snap with one sentence at a time counts as a form of solid communication but newsflash, Snapchat was not meant to take the place of picking up the phone and calling somebody when you want to have a deep conversation.

Don’t get me wrong, Snapchat can be a good thing at times but I personally feel that there are times when it can be a problem. Imagine what the world would be like if we put down our phones and had meaningful conversations at dinner, if we didn’t care so much about what everybody else was doing, and if we didn’t feel the need to post pictures of every little thing. Since letting go of my Snapchat I have learned that I worry more about myself than I do about others, I pay more attention in class, and I try more and more to not check my phone and enjoy the time that I have with the people that I love because that means way more to me than checking in on what everybody and their brother is doing.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.wired.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/snapchat-crowd-s-1024x658.jpg

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Falling In Love Is Easy But Staying In Love Is Harder

You never see it coming and then unexpectedly, it all catches up, and you eventually realize that there is no turning back.
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Over the years that I have dated, I have fallen in love twice and stayed in love once.

The first time it happened, I was naive, emotional, and idealistic. However, in the end, I was left extraordinarily broken and unaware. For the most part, I spent a lot of time thinking about why things did not work out how we intended. It was easy until it was not.

The second time I fell in love was quite the opposite experience I went through the first time I fell in love. I was very cautious, skeptical, and built an emotional fortress for protection. Eventually, it all came crumbling down, brick by brick, until I was back to a familiar place. All that mattered was that he and I were happy and that everything felt right.

That is what falling in love is. It is a natural high, a rush of intense emotions -- anticipation, warmth, euphoria, and fear -- that takes you by force.

You never see it coming and then unexpectedly, it all catches up, and you eventually realize that there is no turning back. When you find yourself at that sweet spot, you think to yourself, "This is where I want to be. I want to stay right here forever."

As we fall in love, our affections effortlessly motivate us.

These feelings propel us to make some of the most irrational decisions or perform unexpected romantic tasks, like staying up all night talking on the phone despite having exams or an important task you have to do the next day or doing anything to spend a day with him or her.

Emotions, especially love, passion, and happiness are our strongest motivators because we will do anything to maintain them.

However, we often fail to realize that it never lasts. What goes up must come down and sometimes, it can last for a couple of months, and sometimes it can last for a couple of years.

We are often blinded by the illusion that everything good is infinite and invincible. Once you come down and reality sinks, it gets a little tricky.

When the feelings subside, we must work twice as hard to maintain and deepen the relationships.

The emotions become less intense until they stabilize into something that is just part of your everyday life. Without the intensity, the motivation eventually fades, and that is when things start to get comfortable.

Once you are in the comfort zone, the relationship either becomes stale and unappealing, or it evolves into a two-player team depending on what you do next. If you genuinely want to stay in love, choose love -- a choice build on the foundations of communication, acceptance, and selflessness.

It means being honest with your significant other while being true to yourself and understanding that compromises are the key to all healthy relationships. It means connecting and sometimes disconnecting, but always discussing your feelings without blame, assumptions, and insults so that you will never have to go to bed sad or angry.

It means knowing that your partner will make mistakes but always speaking before reacting so that the two of you can learn and grow from the experience. It means that even when you do not feel the love at any given moment, you do not give in to the short-term emotions and will instead behave and communicate with tenderness and patience. Share your vulnerabilities and consciously decide to forgive and move on.

In the end, the effort is in the decisions you make.

Deciding on anything is not easy because it requires consciousness and careful thought, whereas emotions can master you without your consent.

Choosing love is choosing selflessness and taking a much higher road -- a task that is not easily done as we are inherently in it for ourselves.

However, if we realize that temporary is easy but forever is hard, we will consistently work for the things and people who are worth fighting for while enjoying the magic and enhancement of all the is finite.

Cover Image Credit: Elizabeth Zamudio

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