The Problem With Snapchat

The Problem With Snapchat

Snapchat was not meant to take the place of picking up the phone and calling somebody when you want to have a deep conversation.

I had a Snapchat for most of high school, I then deleted it for several reasons. I went almost two whole years without snapping until I got to college where I noticed that everybody was on Snapchat on the way to class, during class, after class, and even while getting ready in the dorm bathrooms (not even kidding.) So I decided to give Snapchat another shot. This time I only lasted about two months until I kissed my Snapchat goodbye forever.

When it came to Snapchat in college I noticed several problems that lead to kissing my account goodbye. The first problem was that everybody is constantly on Snapchat. I was especially guilty of this. I constantly checked stories and snapped my friends 24/7. I was on it so much that I knew what everybody was eating, exactly how much they drank when they went out, where exactly they were, who they were with, and so much more. I knew everything about everybody because I was constantly loading and reloading my Snapchat. This was a problem for two reasons, the first being that I wasn’t enjoying the people around me as much as I should have been because my face was glued to checking in on the people who weren’t even around me.

The second problem was the fact that we all seem to Snapchat everything. When I said that I knew what everybody was eating, how much they drank, and exactly who they were with, I wasn’t kidding. For some odd reason we feel the need to share everything with everybody, especially on Snapchat. I was guilty of this and I don’t know why I found so much pleasure in sharing every little thing that I was doing because honestly, who cares? Since deleting my Snapchat I found myself having more conversations with people face to face because my face wasn’t glued to my phone trying to snap artsy pictures of my food.

And that’s another problem with Snapchat. It seems to me that now people feel that it is okay to go to dinner with friends and instead of engaging in meaningful conversation, we choose to snap pictures of our food and Snapchat the friends that aren’t even at dinner. If you don’t believe that people do this just low key watch a table of girls when they go to dinner together and I promise you will see at least one of them take a selfie that will no doubt be on their story or sent to a friend. Since deleting my Snapchat I realized just how rude it is to be snapping away while at dinner with friends, family, and classmates. I’ve also found that people feel that sending a snap with one sentence at a time counts as a form of solid communication but newsflash, Snapchat was not meant to take the place of picking up the phone and calling somebody when you want to have a deep conversation.

Don’t get me wrong, Snapchat can be a good thing at times but I personally feel that there are times when it can be a problem. Imagine what the world would be like if we put down our phones and had meaningful conversations at dinner, if we didn’t care so much about what everybody else was doing, and if we didn’t feel the need to post pictures of every little thing. Since letting go of my Snapchat I have learned that I worry more about myself than I do about others, I pay more attention in class, and I try more and more to not check my phone and enjoy the time that I have with the people that I love because that means way more to me than checking in on what everybody and their brother is doing.

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I'm Glad You Have Him

"Someone should."

I’m glad you have him.

He likes girls that don’t try too hard, but obviously by now you know that. When he does that thing with his face.. ,that small smirk.. you know, when the corners of his lips rise just a bit, and you can tell he doesn’t want you to know he’s smiling, but you’re damn well aware he is, that thing..

I know, you know by now.

I guess.. I’m just glad you have him.
Someone should.

I knew it wasn’t suppose to be me..
as much as I wanted it to be me..
I knew it wasn’t suppose to? Is that weird?
I knew he was meant to fall in love with the more perfect girl, then remember why it never worked out with his previous ones..-me.
But I didn’t want to be the previous girl.
I wanted to be the perfect girl.
The girl who volunteers at animal shelters (not for the pictures but because she “knew it was making a difference”)
Yeah that girl..
Not the girl that saw his texts but purposely waited the 30 minutes before texting him back just in hopes he wouldn’t grow tired of my constant messages or seeing my name appear across his phone.
Not the girl that flirted with other guys just to get a reaction.
And definitely not the girl that gave her everything to the man she claimed she loved, just to turn around the next day and sit on the lap of some random man she’d never really known.
-not that girl.
I wanted to be different.
But I spent so long trying to be different that by the time the opportunity presented itself to me, I was so far away from the one I once attempted to be that I wasn’t even remotely sure on how to get close to her again.

I guess that’s why I’m here.
To tell you I fucked up.
To tell you I think of my decision everyday, and even if I don’t act on it, I know damn well I missed something amazing and that’s a choice I’ll have to live with.

I guess I’m just glad you have him.

Do you notice how his face lights up when he talks about work? Not even his own success—he’s never really went on about that..but the way he looks when he’s telling you of the sale he made with the highest up person he could manage to get..
or the way he tells you about his new niece and what all he’s learned from being an uncle.

And yeah, you’ve always wanted a niece. So you cling on to the idea that could be YOUR niece.
That this life he goes on about could be YOUR life.

And you become afraid almost.
Like the things you’ve done,
People you’ve met,
Opinions you’ve had-
Like they were all nothing.
Because this thing.. THIS

This is real to you.

It all just becomes so real to you.

That you want to give your everything to a man you never intended on loving, but you’re still so far away from where you need to be, and at some point you just realize it will never work. No, that’s not because you don’t love him, and no it’s not because you aren’t willing to give him everything you possibly could,


but it’s because you know in your heart that the person he’s meant to be with is someone whose ready to take in all of him.

And. You’re. Just. Not. There.

So I’m glad you have him.

Because he deserved someone like you. You see it has been almost 4 years since I’ve met this man and each day my heart heals more. With someone new, I’m now emotionally and physically prepared to give him everything I wasn’t able to give your man.

And though it’s hard for me to say, my heart will never fully be over him. I believe that if you ever really loved anyone then they’ll always be present in there, somewhere. It doesn’t mean you can’t love again. Because you will. That person will make you realize why it didn’t work out with the man before you, but I promise it doesn’t mean those feelings just leave you because they won’t. You’ll be reminded of chances you missed and little questions of “what if’s”...

But things have worked out the way I saw them.

The man I once loved and myself couldn’t work out because our souls were not meant to be.

So even though there are nights I lay awake wondering...
And even though there are times I hate myself for being the person I use to be, to someone like him,

I’m still so thankful it was you.

I’m so, so very glad you have him.

Because he deserved to have someone like you.

And finally, after many years of getting lost along the way, I can be happy too, and know I’m ready for all the things I once wasn’t.

The "almost" scarier part of all of this is he knew I wasn’t ready either. Neither of us ever admitted this to one another, we both just painfully came to terms with the fact my head and heart were in two completely different spots and he deserved more than to wait for them to finally meet.

So like him, I’ve been waiting for the perfect girl to enter his life. And now that you have, I want to express my gratitude for you.

You see you are willing and ready to give him everything I couldn’t. And for that,

I’m so glad you have him.

Do me a favor though..

Take care of him.

Love him everyday, for the rest of your life-this won’t be hard.
Don’t get mad at him when he socializes with the many friends he has... he’s lovable, by now you know this.
Don’t get discouraged if he doesn’t answer you right away..
He’s busy and one of the most successful men I know. Take pride in that, I should’ve.
And lastly, don’t ever be like me.
Don’t lie,
Don’t crave attention at whatever form you can get it,
Don’t ask why he has friends that are girls that are so damn beautiful..
you’re beautiful too.
Just trust this man, and whatever you do.
Don’t be like me.

I am glad...
I am so very, truly glad, he has you.

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What Not To Do On Tinder

And guys call girls basic?

Oh the great world of Tinder is very interesting. I joined Tinder this year to just look at cute guys at Purdue. Since I have been on Tinder I have noticed a couple of things that drive girls crazy.

1. Dog pictures

I love dogs a lot. I love dogs more than humans but, I'm not going to swipe right just because you have a dog. I would rather see more pictures of you than your dog because I'm looking for a guy not a dog.

2. Stop taking creepy selfies

I always thought guys could take selfies but, after joining Tinder I was very wrong. Come on guys! It's not that hard to hold the camera at a good angle. I don't want to see up your noise or the top of your head. It really isn't that hard I promise.

3. Don't put girls in your pictures

You're trying to get a girl the worst thing you can do is have pictures with other girls. Us girls don't like any type of competition and any girl that is pretty is automatically a threat.

4. Stop with the muscle pictures

Yes we like guys with good bodies but muscle pictures are just weird. It makes it seem like you're only obsessed with your body and it can be intimidating. Like I am not fit and if someone is super buff I don't swipe right.

5. Having all group pictures

Don't get me wrong I like seeing group pictures because it shows us that you have friends but, having all group pictures is a no no. I will not take the time to figure out who is who.

6. Starting conversation with basic gifs

The Joey from Friends gifs is a classic but I'm so tired of seeing them. Try to find gifs that will make us laugh and want to respond to you.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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