I hate the term "nice guy."
We’ve all heard this phrase, whether it’s from your disgruntled perpetually single friend or the girl explaining why she won’t go out with that perpetually single friend.
It’s a misleading term. When a girl calls someone a "nice guy," it’s not because they think they’re too nice to date.
Nope, this term is reserved for a particularly pestilent breed of boy.
Sure, this guy may seem like a gentleman on the surface, but beneath that surface is one of the most dangerous forms of misogyny left in the world.
Instead of being genuine, they pretend to be some knock-off of Prince Charming with the expectation of getting the girl.
Then when they inevitably get rejected, they complain about how they’re always getting ‘friend-zoned’ and how "nice guys finish last."
But yet, they never seem to pick up the hint that it might be themselves that’s the problem. So they repeat ad nauseum until everyone is absolutely sick of their complaining.
The worst part is that these guys complain so much about the "friend zone," but yet when they get rejected they do anything but stay friends.
They either don’t get the hint and cling to their crush until the restraining order, or they refuse to associate with them and complain about how they aren’t "valued."
This isn’t to say that every ‘Nice Guy’ is like this. There are plenty of guys out there who are genuinely nice people.
Some of them are absolute chick magnets; others not so much, but they do exist.
These are the kind of guys who don’t make a spectacle of doing nice things for the girl.
They don’t single out their crush for special treatment; instead, they treat everyone with decency.
When they have a crush, they don’t treat their affection as a prize to be won; instead, they recognize that the right person will like them back for who they are.
And most importantly: a real nice guy legitimately values friendship.
Even if they get rejected, a real nice guy doesn’t treat ‘just friends’ as a consolation prize. They recognize that a good friend is just as good as if not better than a significant other.
So to all you "nice guys" out there: stop pretending you’re so high and mighty.
You aren’t going to fool anybody with the gentleman schtick. You’re only hurting yourself with those delusions.
Instead, strive to be a genuinely good person.
Not only is a genuine person more attractive, it’s better for your own sake. Rejection hurts less when you aren’t really losing them, and a new friend can be just as exciting.
