Snapchat may be one of the best apps ever created. It’s a genius idea, really. I love being able to send ugly selfies and embarrassing videos to my friends without having to worry about them later resurfacing in a birthday pic collage. The stories are great too. It’s nice way to keep tabs on what all your friends are up to. It's also an effective way to low-key brag about your day. However, we all have those friends on Snapchat whose stories you never want to watch. With the new update, sometimes it is hard to exit out of the never-ending feed before you get to that one person’s story. Once the story is opened, Snapchat sucks you into it's black hole and you feel obliged to finish watching. You watch even though you would much rather attempt to paralyze your finger to stop tapping the screen. There are five things people on Snapchat do that really grind my gears.
1. Concerts
Don’t get me wrong; concerts are great… to go to. There is something about hearing a band or performer live that is really enjoyable. However, watching a 10 second, poor quality, video of a band you don’t really like is not that enjoyable. In fact, it makes me want to puncture my own eardrums. Its super awesome that you are going to see Excision for the third time this year, but just a nice pic of the lights will suffice. There is no need to post five videos in a row of you jumping around in a mosh pit while music blares in the background. If I really wanted to hear them play I could have gotten tickets my self or made a quick trip to my good ol’ pal, YouTube. I appreciate that you want everyone to enjoy the show but maybe next time you should spend a little more time dancing and a little less time on Snapchat.
2. Inside Jokes
Sometimes I feel that people forget what a story actually is. Stories are a way for Snapchat users to share a picture or a video with all of their contacts. Meaning, everyone can see it. So if I open your story to see a random picture with the caption, "@JohnSmith laughing-crying emoji", I am going to be thoroughly annoyed. There is this really cool thing Snapchat does where you can send a picture to only one person- learn how to use it! I’m sure John Smith was sitting in the bathroom looking through his feed and got a good chuckle when yours came on, but the rest of us wanted to revoke your snap privileges.
3. Excessive Drinking
As a college student, roughly 75 percent of my story feed at any given time involves partying of some kind. There is nothing more fun than waking up Sunday morning and looking at all the stupid pictures you and your friends took the night before. In a way, it is almost like reliving your night. However, there is a socially acceptable limit to how many photos you are allowed to have. As much as I would love to see your night shot for shot (literally), I don’t have time for that. If I know you had two shots of vodka, three Bud Lights and won a game of flippy cup, your story was probably past the limit. I know drinking makes you super cool and all, but I don’t really want to watch you do it.
4. Filters
Filters are another one of Snapchat's many great qualities. There are so many kinds! You have the ever-famous dog filter, ones that say the name of where you are in a cool font, and of course face swap. I am guilty of spending too much time trying out all of the new filters on Snapchat when I really should be doing a lab report. Snapchat filters are awesome- in moderation. There are days when I go through my feed and every other girl has a selfie with the dog filter. I don’t know what it is about that filter that makes everyone feel the need to post it. Of course you look cute as a dog (because dogs are cuter than people, duh). However, this is also your story on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I also appreciate the fact that you make your story a picture of you with the alien filter, the squinty-face filter, the bug-eyed filter and the one that makes your forehead huge. If you hadn’t done so, I probably never would have known those filters existed! Thanks!
5. Length
Length can make or break a story. I know I am guilty of this more than anything else. I am the type of person who makes their stories one second long. I can’t help it. I know how annoying it is to re-watch the same person's story eight times to try and see what is happening in their picture. It is obnoxious. And it is always the same person who does it. Same goes for the person who always has stories that are 385 seconds long. I feel like I have spent the entire day with them just by watching their story. I don’t care about what cereal you ate in the morning. I don't want to know how bored you were in class. You could not fathom the eye roll I make when you show me what time you went to bed. If I wanted to know then I could have just hung out with you. Let’s be real, there is a reason I didn’t. Long story short: Snap responsibly.
