There have been a lot of tragedies in our newsfeeds over the last month. The largest mass shooting in American history. Death of more black men at the hands of police brutality. Death of five police officers in Dallas. Things are changing, escalating, in our lives and society. As a white, upper class, heterosexual, cisgendered, able bodied, Christian, American, male I know a thing or two about privilege and how it can blind you to the how other people's lives can be impacted by bigotry or oppression. I make it a goal of mine, however, to confront and deal with my privilege in the best ways that I am able. One of the ways that I am able to do this is by educating other privileged people and allies. This is the first of two articles in a series I'm going to write with the goal in mind to help educate privileged people. I hope you get something out of them!
1. Almost everyone is privileged.
A lot of people hear privilege and they immediately think of White Privilege, because it is the most commonly talked about form of privilege. But, privilege can stem from gender, race, religion, nationality, sexuality, economic class, and even physical or mental characteristics. A lot, if not all, of people are privileged and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s just how you were born. You can’t control being born with privilege any more than a member of a minority could control being born into that minority. The fact of the matter though, is you were born into a world that is going to treat you much better than it will treat others. That’s why it’s important for you to recognize your privilege, especially when speaking about issues you are privileged in.
Take a look at the cover photo above. The person in the front has an innate better chance of making it in the basket. The person behind them has a worse chance and the person in the very back has the worst chance. That's a lot like privilege. There are varying degrees of privilege! But, unless the person in the front looks back and realizes that they have a better chance at making it in the basket, they might never know about their privilege.
2. Having privilege does not make you a bad person.
This is the number one misconception about privilege. Privilege is not a bad thing! Privilege is just the admission that you don’t have to deal with things that other people do. So, don’t think that when someone says you are privileged they are ‘calling you out’ or insulting you. When someone says to ‘check your privilege’ they’re probably trying to get you to see that you’re coming from a place of privilege and your opinion might not be completely empathetic to people who actually suffer from the issue that you’re talking about. They might say it in a mean way, but it is not a mean thing. It can be used as one of those learning experiences that are oh so important to being an ally! In fact, how you use your privilege might make you a good person! If you are able bodied and you use your privilege to help those who are not able bodied (when they request or approve of the assistance), you’re using your privilege correctly. If you’re a male and you use your innate privilege to silence sexism when you hear it, you’re using your privilege correctly.
3. Coming to terms with privilege is vital to becoming an ally.
So, you understand that your privilege isn’t an insult and that most people have privilege in one form or another. What now? It’s vital that you also understand what your privilege might make you not understand fully. A lot of people think their opinion should always be valued at the same level as everyone else’s, and sometimes even more so. That isn’t necessarily true though. If you are white and talking to someone who is black, about a race issue, their opinion is more valid than yours, innately, because they begin from a place of personal experience. A man talking about availability of birth control is a dangerous thing, because he’s never had to be afraid of getting pregnant nor has he ever been pregnant. His privilege protects him from the real danger women have of getting pregnant and so the issue isn’t quite as pressing as it would be for a woman, who might have actually gone through the fear of accidentally getting pregnant. The life of a member of a minority is guided by whatever makes them a minority, even if they don’t know it.Even if a woman hasn’t ever consciously understood someone around her was being sexist, her life is still guided by that force. Therefore, when she talks about an issue like the wage gap, her voice should hold more force than that of a man who has never had to worry about being paid less because of the genitalia he was born with. Coming to terms with the things that grant you privilege is important because it’s vital to your listening and learning ability. In order to learn how to best help, you must first understand where you are coming from.
