Several weeks ago, I was shocked to find out that in 2016, two men holding hands is still a sight that elicits reaction in some American cities. This is not to say that I was totally naive about what could happen as I went out in public with my boyfriend for the first time, but still...
When we decided to walk through downtown Cincinnati, I did expect to see some stares, and I was not even entirely surprised to notice a few turning heads, but never did I imagine that conversations at cafe tables would cease abruptly as we strolled by. I also was surprised to hear distinctly as
we passed comments such as, "Do you see those two guys?" and "Aren't they cute?" complete with hand gestures and pointing.The most surreal moment for me occurred as we were walking through historic Piatt Park when, from several feet away, someone shouted, "You guys are so cute!" in a way that I could not interpret immediately to be sincere or sarcastic.
As we continued to walk further west, there came even more comments from the distant group, "Do you hear us? You better turn around and say something!" Their tones had become menacing, as if to say turn around or else.
There was no one else around in the park, and, unsure of what to do, I kept walking but eventually conceded a small wave without looking behind me. By now, the distance between us and the group had become large enough that I could no longer make out for sure what was being said, but at that moment someone seemed to say, "Don't go f****** !" to a chorus of laughter.
There were two of us and five of them, so what could I do besides tell myself I had not heard them and just keep walking? I was afraid, so I just kept walking despite the feeling of humiliation rising up inside me.
While this was the worst incident we faced that day in Cincinnati, even the seemingly "kind" comments earlier on left me feeling a bit uneasy. I could not help but feel that if I had been holding hands with one of my girlfriends that afternoon, people would not have felt the need to smile at us all the way down the block, or comment loudly on our appearance.
A tip for allies: the best way to make gay couples feel accepted is to treat us the same as you would a heterosexual couple. Don't say anything to a gay couple that you would not say to a heterosexual couple you don't know.
My experience drove home for me why, in 2016, there is still a need for pride events. We have certainly come a long way, but there is still so much that needs done. Sometimes I have heard it asked sarcastically, "Where is my straight pride month?"
Instead of criticizing the pride marches which occur each year in June, what those people should be doing is thanking God that they can walk down the street with their significant others with far less comments. They should be thankful that they don't have to feel afraid just because they are holding hands with the one they love. They should just be grateful that society has not compelled them to need a "Straight Pride Month."
