When I look at you without saying a word

I don't see the sharp cutting squareness of your jaw

Or the lopsided wave of hair that crashes on the shore of your pale face

I don't see your bow smile that crooked arrows on the rest can still hit true

Or the simian protrusion of your ears

I don't see your quirk of a nose or the pouting tease on your face

All I can see is the time we have left

The second hand of the clock ticking away

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, soon, soon, soon, soon

Every year is only a minute, a second for you

We only have a splash of eternity

The days are carved into the lines of your face

The hours fall from your mouth with every passing breath

You touch me with the minutes of your hand

You smile at me with the seconds on your teeth

Tick, tock, tick, tock, soon, soon

I can't see the glittering torch in your eyes

Only the dimming of the glow when I go

Your laughter is sobs in one ear

The heartbeats in your chest are jagged and faint to the other

If you caress me, I can crumble to dust under your fingertips

Scattering away on the winds of time

Your joy is bitter and poisonous in my sight

I hate it with searing passion

For I know it will soon give way to grief and harrowing loss

I want to choke off your air

So you would never have to take in a painful breath in my absence

I want to stop your heart

So it can never slowly beat your loneliness

If I live 100 years

I hope you live 99 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds

So you won't have to live one second without me

Even if I have to live one without you

But it's selfish

And I don't want you gone

I want you to move on pass

Be spared, be saved, survive

You will outlive me

And deep down, I want you to

I want you to stand tall and strong

I will be gone soon

Tick, tock, soon

But stay alive for me

For when I look at you without saying a word

I don't see your swampy eyes or the inverted B of your nose

I only see you picking yourself off the ground

I map out the life we have left and how to live it to the fullest

And I can see you pushing pass and moving on

Because I will be gone

Soon

But you will live on