pregnancy and infant awareness month

I'll start by saying that I've never had this happen to me and although I can't vouch for the pain you're feeling, I will tell you that you aren't alone.

I see you, though. I see you posting your pregnancy announcement and updating your status after every appointment with a picture of your ultrasound or a video of you hearing your baby's heartbeat.

I see you posting the gender reveal with the name of your baby and all of the blue and pink outfits you bought. I see the nursery pictures you post with fresh paint on the walls and a brand new crib ready to go for your baby's arrival.

What I don't see, though, is something I instead notice. I notice that you go silent on social media. I notice that you're no longer posting the happiness of your doctor's appointments. I would never want to intrude, so I don't question it or ask. I just wait until the next post.

The next post that I see is the hardest one to read and I'm sure even harder for you to post or even talk about. I see that you post with a heavy heart that your baby has gained their wings and then the comment section floods with apologies and your phone seem like it hasn't stopped ringing since.

My heart goes out to all of those who are grieving. I know that there is nothing I can say or do to make anything ever OK again, but your baby will always be remembered. Your baby was loved and they will not be forgotten.

It's OK to not be OK. You won't be for a while and you may never truly be "OK" again and you may never be the same person you once were, but you're strong and brave. You have survived something no parent should ever have to endure and if that doesn't prove how strong you actually are, I don't know what does.

I will never have all of the right words to make everything seem right again and I cannot comprehend what you're going through but know that your strength is admirable and that you matter. It's OK to cry and be angry and feel lost.

Though October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we're aware and we remember all 12 months of each year. You matter and your baby matters. While you won't ever forget, I hope you find some sort of comfort in this.

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