“As soon as I saw the trailer, I was sure it would be terrible. At that moment I knew I just had to see it.”
That’s Zach Wallace, a college student and amateur writer/comedian, talking about "Suicide Squad," the new blockbuster from DC Comics about a gang of super villains who are forced to team up. Zach wasn’t familiar with the original property, and he wasn’t excited about the movie when it was first announced.
But when the bad reviews started rolling in, Zach decided to take down the movie in the most devious way possible: he paid actual money to see it in the theater.
“I wasn’t seeing it seriously, of course. It was ironic,” said the student, who spent fifteen real, non-ironic American dollars to see a movie he knew he wouldn’t enjoy. “I just had to see for myself how bad it was.”
This was just the latest in a vicious salvo Zach had leveled at the massive blockbuster: When the first pictures of Jared Leto as the Joker were released, the prolific Twitter user wrote a series of tweets disparaging the character’s appearance, effectively advertising the upcoming film to his friends and family. “By making fun of 'Suicide Squad' online, I’m spreading the word about how bad it is,” Zach said of the movie, which has made over $160 million as of this writing. “I’m singlehandedly taking down 'Suicide Squad.'”
The aspiring comedian also discussed the movie (which he described as “horrendous” and “a garbage fire”) on Facebook, his weekly podcast, and his blog Zach Attack. “'Suicide Squad' is a misguided, offensive, disgusting display of sexism and overabundance. Don’t waste your money,” he wrote after spending an extra $3 to see the movie in 3D.
When "Suicide Squad" director David Ayer received word of Zach’s devastating burn, he expressed confusion: “So…he thought it looked bad, but he saw it anyway? I mean, obviously I’m bummed that he didn’t like it, but…he still bought a ticket, you know? Why would he see it if he knew he was just going to hate it?”
Sources close to Zach say this isn’t the first time he’s pulled off this kind of brilliant takedown. “I remember last summer he paid $500 for VIP Iggy Azalea tickets,” says longtime friend Angela Crenshaw. “I guess it was supposed to be a joke because he hates her music, but then he actually went to the show and took a picture with her backstage, so I don’t even know if you can still say you’re being ironic at that point.”
“Zach was lovely. It’s always nice to meet a fan,” said Azalea in an email.
So what’s next for the new clown prince of cinema? “I have a few ideas I’m kicking around,” Zach says. “What if…I saw Suicide Squad AGAIN? And I live tweeted it? Do you think people would like that? Would that be funny? Funny or not?” As of press time, Zach’s eyes were melting out of his skull as his wallet withered to dust.
