On May 18, 2016, the boyfriend and girlfriend YouTube duo, PrankvsPrank, announced their split after 10 years of being together and six years of making YouTube videos. The couple, Jesse and Jeana, announced their split in the best way they know how—through video.
"Jeana and I—this is like telling a bunch of kids their parents are getting divorced, basically," said Jesse, sadly, in the video announcing their split, "but Jeana and I are going to take a break. From vlogging, we're going to take a break from each other."
The couple sat side by side with Jesse doing most of the talking. Jeana could hardly look at the camera throughout the entire video nor make eye contact with Jesse. Audiences were shocked by this announcement. It was shocking for their 8 million viewers to hear that things weren't as perfect behind the scenes as they may seem.
But should we really feel this way?
I have always been very wary of what I put on the Internet. Once something is out in the open, I can never take it back and I have no control over how it is manipulated. I'm especially wary of posting things about my relationships on the Internet. I see posts where couples are airing their dirty laundry—allowing me and all their friends an almost voyeuristic look into their lives—on social media to invite their friends to take sides or open themselves to commentary about the developing situation. I think that's dangerous and I think that's toxic to a relationship.
Even the good things I have a hard time posting on social media. Sometimes I see photo after photo of gifts my friends have received from their significant other, trips they've taken together, sweet things that have been said and so much more. Couples race home to change their relationship status to "Engaged" as soon as the question is asked and answered. I'm happy for these people, happy they've found what they're looking for. Happy that, in this moment, they're comfortable welcoming people into their lives and sharing their good news.
However, I cannot do that. I will proudly claim that he is my partner. I'm not militant in my desire to remove him from my social media; in fact, I interviewed him and published the piece here. But our interactions aren't social media-based, they're based in the real world. Our relationship exists outside of the internet.
Social media puts a lot of pressure on relationships. Couples, like Jeana and Jesse, whose relationships seem to be solely based on interactions on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other social media sites can feel like they're always on with no downtime to simply be together.
According to this article published in Psychology Today, social media sites can create a lot of anxiety and jealousy in a relationship. The reason being the ambiguity of the interactions. You may not know every person on your partner's friend list. Is that girl whose photo they liked their cousin or someone they were once interested in? You don't really know in the moment. This can arouse suspicions—especially if you're prone to jealousy and anxiety concerning your partner. We can use these mediums to surveil our partners in an easier way than we used to be able to.
It's also important to note that when you excessively post things on Facebook about your partner—especially bad things—you're risking alienating your friends. Your friends just don't care; yes, they're happy you're happy, but they don't want their timelines clogged up with your sappy posts about your romantic weekend together or how you're sure you're soul mates and you'll never let them go. On the flip side, it's also annoying for us to see how your partner isn't doing their fair share of the dishes or they never take you out anywhere. I have better things to look at on the Internet than your relationship. The internet is where I find corgi pictures (side note: feel free to link any and all corgi pictures you find for me), new recipes and expensive things I want to buy, not relationship advice.
I will concede that with proper use social media can strengthen your relationship. When Adam went out of town, we could tag each other in silly memes, he tagged me in corgi videos, I tagged him in recipes; it gave us a sense of closeness throughout the day. But we called each other. I talked to him—verbally—every day he was away. The core of our relationship stayed off Facebook.
We say celebrity couples like Jesse and Jeana, Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift and so many others fall apart. There's always celebrity divorces in the tabloids and we eat up the gossip. But that's not, and shouldn't, be normal. So do yourselves—and your friends—a favor: leave your relationship off social media.
