I came home for Christmas break this past week and that obviously means catching up with 'home' friends. I spent one night with two of my best friends and one of them was casually talking about her boyfriend. She made the comment "Yeah, whenever he's in the mood and tries something, sometimes I will just say 'no' and he is super cool with it and stops." My other friend and I looked up in surprise while cooing about how "good of a guy" he is and how "she got lucky". I sat for a moment after that interaction transpired and realized that it was completely terrifying that we thought this behavior was praiseworthy when in reality, that should be how every person reacts.
What makes a person so great for respecting someone else's boundaries? Shouldn't that be the baseline for every relationship? Respect. We should not be living in a world where it is common for no's to be met with questions and persistence. The word "no" should end the conversation right then and there, because, at the end of the day, no one should have more control over your body than you. We should not be building a culture of aggression and sexual assault. There should be no praise for "decent" men. Although my friend's boyfriend is an insanely good man even outside of that event, that event itself does not make him more than a decent man. Respecting someone's body, limits, and boundaries should be nothing more than normal.
If you find yourself nervous to say 'no' to a person when it comes to sexual behavior, you need to find a new person. A true man and woman would do nothing but accept the word "no" with anything other than an "okay" and a smile. People don't get to make decisions for other peoples' body. People don't get to pry into the reasons why one might say no. People do not have the right to make someone feel bad for taking ownership of their body and deciding what will be done with it.
I refuse to praise someone for being a "decent" person but I will criticize someone for lacking the basic decency to respect other humans and the choices they made for themselves.
