I feel like I'm always encouraging people to try something new, when at the same time it couldn't be harder for me to do the same.

Practice what you preach, right? Don't be a hypocrite; do what you tell other people to do. Everything is so much easier when you tell other people to do it, but our pride tends to get in the way of us actually taking our own advice. And it's hard to let that go.

Sometimes, stepping out of our shells is hard. There was a great line from the TV show Supergirl, where one character said probably one of my favorite quotes I've ever heard about moving on in life.

"Your standing on the shore afraid to dive into the new waters, and you’re afraid...You are standing there looking out at your options. The icy blue water, the fast flowing river, and it all looks very appealing to you because you’re dying to go for a swim, but you know that water is going to be cold, and the journey is going to be hard.. and when you reach the other side, you will have become a new person. You're scared to meet that new version of yourself. Now, we all get used to our own personas, and are used to our own comfort zones but trust me. In order to live, we must keep daring. Keep diving.”

Awesome, right?

I will be the first to admit that the world terrifies me. I don't want to keep moving because I don't want to change. I don't want to see what I'll look like on the other end of that river, when I come out dripping and exhausted from my journey, because I'm afraid I'll look back and see someone who was so much better than what I've become. I'm afraid to see myself and tell myself "Wow, you really failed at life."

It's a scary thought.

I can tell people all day to try new things. I can tell people to listen to Broadway musicals when I'll never listen to rap. I can tell myself that I never want to do something new and exciting, even when I encourage other people to. I'll sit under my covers and wait for everything to blow over. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of making mistakes. I don't think I was ever really taught that failure is just a means to success.

I grew up the smart kid in my class. I don't know if you've ever noticed that having a certain "place" in your school setting often leads to this. It's especially around people labelled "smart." When you're the "smart" kid, you become afraid of letting people down. Everyone comes to you to ask about homework, about life advice, about everything, and you had better have an answer for them, or you're not the smart kid anymore. They'll move on to someone else.

We cling to the knowledge that we're important to our peers, and we don't want to be left behind. It makes us afraid to fail. Failure means that we're the ones wandering around alone, because we have nothing left to hold on to. If you're no longer the smart kid, who are you? The ex-smart-kid. The one people don't see a use for.

That's failure. It makes you feel like that.

I know I'm hardly one to talk, but maybe we can all try something new this winter break. I don't even know what to suggest, for once. Try something brand new, something that maybe you've been a little hesitant to dip your toes into. Something harmless, and not very important, but maybe something that will stretch your knowledge a little, make you a more well-rounded person. Try something that will teach you or inform you.

And have a happy holidays.