I'm really not that much different than most 20-year-old girls. I go to school. I spend time with friends. I have a job. I pay bills, buy my own groceries, and get myself up and out of bed in the morning. I'm out there, really embracing the whole "growing up" thing.
Now, being two years deep into the vast journey that is college, I'm starting to notice how far away my childhood actually is.
In my heart I know I'm a kid, still really clueless about the trials and tribulations of life, and every day I make a new mistake that reminds me just how lost I am in this world. On a daily basis, I reflect on the comfort of getting off the bus after school and my mom waiting for me at the door with a smile and a snack. I long for the days spent riding the lawnmower on my dad's lap and playing in my backyard, not having to stress over grades, deadlines, or work schedules. Amid this hectic lifestyle I've recently donned, I frequently find myself constantly muttering: "I wanna go home."
It's not that I don't enjoy being an independent. It's actually extremely liberating, and there's a certain amount of thrill in purchasing your first pack of toilet paper with your own money that you just have to experience to understand. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! It's just so incredibly easy to reflect on the easier, safer times.
When you're a kid, it seems as though all adults want to talk about is how kids don't know how good they have it, how difficult life is going to get, and how we should be embracing every moment of our youth, because it flies right past us without even saying goodbye. Who would have known that they were right?! I would give anything to go back and experience a world of toys, snacks, and naps all over again. At what age does it become unacceptable to be homesick?
I wish I had the ability as a kid to grasp the concept that our childhoods are nonrefundable. Whatever memories we make are the only ones we get so it's important to take it all in and to embrace every little detail.
I wish there was a little USB I could plug into my brain and download all of the best memories and moments onto my computer, just to fully grasp all the old familiar feelings again. Adulting is very scary, and all I keep hearing is that it never gets any easier. That's why it's important to surround yourself with your favorite people, and to always hold on to the good memories for dear life.
The next time you're having the time of your life and you're laughing so hard you can't breathe, stop, take a look around, and completely absorb the moment you're in. Remember the smells, the sounds, and the way you feel. These are the moments you should never let go of.
