Forgiveness is something that every human struggles with at some point during their lifetime. When a group of people get together, it is almost inevitable that conflict will arise. Whether it is between a couple of people or a group as large as a sports team, drama will find a way to creep in; I speak from experience. There are a few different people in this world: the pot stirrers, the peacekeepers, and the pacifists. The pot stirring crowd seems to thrive on drama. The more conflict that is flowing, the happier they are. The peacekeepers tend to involve themselves in the drama in order to tame it or come to a resolution. Almost always, though, they get just as involved as the pot stirrer. The pacifists refuse to involve themselves in any part of conflict. They may be invited into the mess, but they do not see a need to become involved. Do not be surprised if you find yourself falling into one of theses three types of people. It is okay.

No matter where you may fall, conflict needs to be resolved. It can end in a pleasant way or an ugly way. Those who get caught up in the drama tend to forget the people involved and as a result, lose a relationship. There a better way to handle conflict though, and that way involves honoring God above all else. When God becomes the main focus of our lives, everything falls into place. That does not mean that, as humans, we will not face hardship or conflict. The exact opposite is true. We must humble ourselves and bring our situation before God in order for any good to come out of it.

There are two major forces that come about when resolving conflict. One is an apology and the other is forgiveness. No matter who won the argument, each person is at fault because each was involved in conflict with a brother or sister in Christ. The second matter is to forgive when a sincere apology is given. One of the biggest issues in conflict resolution is forgiveness. God said to forgive because He forgave us. We are called to have the same mercy on our brothers and sisters as God has had on us. If we claim to be followers of Christ, we must model our behavior after His own behavior. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

With all that being said, here is my apology. For the people that I have hurt with my words, actions, or anything else, I am sincerely sorry. I may not be able to recall exactly the wrong I did to you, but I acknowledge that I did not honor God in the midst of our conflict. Please forgive me. I hate that the conflict between us has led to a loss in time, friendship, and trust and an increase in anger, confusion, and resentment. One day I hope we can meet again and start over. Until then, I hope you know how truly sorry I am that I hurt you.

For those of you who have done wrong to me, I forgive you. There is no need for me to hold onto any resentment or anger because that is only hurting me. I am certain that I am not blameless in any conflict that we had, so I apologize for any wrongdoing I did against you. Please know that I fully forgive you and love you with only love that can come from Christ. It is through Him that I have the strength and the courage to forgive you. Without His mercy for me, I would not be able to show you the same compassion and mercy. If one day we meet on the sidewalk, I will greet you with a smile and ask how you are doing. I cannot promise that I have forgotten our conflict, but I can promise you that I do not carry any anger with me towards you. All is forgiven, and I hope you can forgive yourself.

Here’s my challenge to you. Even though it is hard, apologizing to someone for your wrongdoing and forgiving someone else for their wrongdoing are two of the most freeing acts you can do in this life. You will no longer feel the burden of negative feelings towards people, but you will have a sense of peace wash over you. There is nothing like the feeling of pure peace on a weary heart. You may not want to, but trust me when I say that letting go of resentment is worth it. Free your heart and accept this gift only found through Jesus Christ.