Halloweekend pictures are all posted. Thanksgiving leftovers are in the fridge, and the consumption disaster that is Grey Thursday, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday has passed, signaling the official start of the Christmas season for many Americans.
Inevitably, we will start asking each other the question. The conversation about "what do you want for Christmas" becomes an unnecessarily difficult conversation to have for all parties involved. The polite answer always seems to be to assure the person asking that no gift is necessary and not to worry about them. Sometimes, the conversation is between two friends who are seriously agreeing not to do an exchange this year for the convenience of both friends. Other than that, the answer "oh you don't need to get me anything!" becomes a frustrating answer for multiple reasons.
The first reason is that when people give me that answer, I still have no idea what to get them. Sometimes, you know exactly what to get someone; they have a very specific hobby or interest, or you just know them really well. Sometimes you're really close with someone but just have no idea what to give them for whatever reason; for example, I'm incapable of buying a gift for my own father every year. I just don't know what the man wants, and when I ask him, he refuses to give me an answer. So I'm left, stuck, running around the mall desperately trying to find something, awkwardly knowing whatever I'm giving him is probably going to be junk.
Next, it's frustrating to feel pressured to give that answer when it's not what you mean. We may be afraid to talk about what gifts we may actually want, fearing that it might be too expensive or extravagant. Alternatively, asking for cash or gift cards seems impolite for whatever reason. Though cash or gift cards may seem impersonal, I find it ridiculous that people are pressured not to give them as answers when they're what they'd really prefer.
Cash and gift cards actually make gift giving easier for all parties involved. It is much easier for the giver to run to the store, pick out a gift card or take out some cash, put it in a card and be done with it. For those receiving, it allows them to buy the things they really want, without having Christmas rear it's uglier head again in the spring.
What do I mean by that? Every year, I like to do some spring cleaning. Inevitably, I find gifts from Christmas that ended up in the closet because they were things that I didn't really need/want/use. Commence immeasurable guilt. Yes, it's great to donate the clothes that I didn't want or wear, but I feel awful that someone went through the trouble to pick something out for me. I wish I could have told them that cash would have been better easier for both of us, but how ungrateful!
But is it truly "ungrateful?" I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever experience this problem. Like I said, sometimes it's just hard knowing what to give a person, and not knowing does not mean that you don't love them. Getting someone a useful albeit slightly impersonal gift may actually be better than getting them junk.
The holiday season creates an immense amount of pressure to achieve absolute perfection, especially when it comes to gifts. Many holiday ads highlight the importance of the perfect gift: children screaming in delight that they got that toy they wanted, teens dancing around with their brand-new laptop or whatever gadget is on the hot list this year, women crying over that perfect piece of jewelry given by their significant other, and of course the car with the giant bow on top. Quite frankly, this perfection is exhausting, over-the-top, and unnecessary. Of course the commercials promote this type of over-the-top perfection because they want you to buy their products. The more expensive, the better. But we don't need to listen to them.
So to avoid stressful shopping, endless clutter and guilt, why don't we just be honest? If you both are dead set on a gift exchange, don't be afraid to say that just cash or a gift card would be a perfect gift. Don't worry so much about what things you need to buy each other to be a good friend.
