Last Wednesday Nintendo released Pokemon Go, an augmented reality game where you wander around your city or town while an avatar encounters pokemon and pokespots that have shit for you to get like Pokeballs. When you encounter a pokemon it is displayed on your phone while you point the camera at your surroundings. A Pikachu might appear on your sidewalk or a Bulbasaur in your backyard, so you throw pokeballs at it until you capture it. You capture pokemon and then you capture more pokemon. That’s it. That’s the game.
And it’s ruining my life.
It’s also ruining my roommates’ lives, my best friend’s life, my girlfriend’s life, and the lives of the literal group of 6 or so people I heard talking about catching Eevees and PsyDucks at the National Mall while they anxiously checked their phones. The best part about the game is that it’s got pokemon and it’s addictive.
The worst part is that you have to go outside.
I used to enjoy my free time indoors with the AC blasting lying on my bed or my couch, reading, watching TV, or playing videogames with my friends. I was safely insulated from the horrors of the outside world.
Now when I finish dinner I put on shoes and my friend and I briskly stroll around the neighborhood, enjoying the fresh air and exploring parts of Foggy Bottom we hadn’t seen before. Sure, it’s cool to catch Pokemon, but the misery of wonderful summer evenings and seeing so many trees and grass is awful.
Today I got home from a day trip out of town, and instead of going inside and staring at a screen I went walking on the National Mall with my best friend while a perfect breeze negated DC’s muggy weather. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and Pokemon Go is to blame.
Yes, I thankfully spend a lot of time staring at my phone while I’m in nature, but it’s still an awful game because it chews through your battery. Much as I wish I could be more insulated from the outside world, realistically I have to put my phone in my pocket and wait for a vibration when I’m near a pokemon, otherwise my battery wouldn’t last long. And this means I have to look at nature and enjoy my surroundings. Ugh. Thanks Nintendo.
They even have this stupid thing where you incubate Pokemon Eggs and have to walk 2, 5, or 10 kilometers for them to hatch and you get a ton of cool stuff. So now instead of riding the dingy underground metro listening to music and trying to avoid human contact while sharing a seat I might end up walking to work on Thursday or Friday so I can add to my kilometers and get pokestuff. Great.
I didn’t even know I could walk to my job. But now thanks to Pokemon Go I might help the environment, save money, and breathe more fresh air. I take walks now. I try to spend as much time outside and check through the nooks and crannys of a neighborhood I’ve long lived in without truly knowing.
Like I said, this game is ruining my life.
