5 Pointless Facts I Know About Justin Bieber

Hi, I’m Ashlyn Sasser and I’m a recovering Belieber. I’ve been about five years clean of that swoopy hair obsession, and I’m going strong. Don’t get me wrong, I still hesitate changing the radio station when “Baby” comes on as a throwback, but it’s a step-by-step process. First was accepting that I had a problem. This moment happened to me when he first cut his hair, lifting away the swoopy facade of this perfect human being to reveal this greasy white boy. It was a shocker for me too, but as they say, love is blind until it gets glasses. Then came the purging of all Bieber stuff from my room. The extensive layers of posters that stuck to my wall were slowly removed until I could see the actual color of my walls, something I hadn’t seen in so long that I had forgotten what it had looked like. The magazines I had kept that had random facts about him were recycled, but I never really forgot some of those facts, so here are a few that just sometimes pop into my head from time to time.

1. His exact birthday is March 1, 1994 at 12:56 am

It is usually at this moment that I jolt awake from a deep sleep in a cold sweat hyperventilating. This also means that he is a Pisces just in case you were wondering.

2. He can play the drums, guitar, piano, and trumpet

To be honest, I’m a little upset that he hasn’t put more trumpet solos into his songs; I feel like that would add character. The trumpet is such an underappreciated instrument.

3. His favorite number is 6

I usually have to skip over this number when counting because I just get too emotional. This was also his jersey number when he played hockey, which is probably why it’s his favorite number. I know, such a revelation.

4. He’s claustrophobic

I have to admit this is the second thing I think of when I hear this word, the first being that “it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus” (look it up if you didn’t watch nickelodeon as a child).

5. He used to be 5’7

This is an inaccurate fact now. I looked it up and he’s 5’9 presently, but I just remember this specifically because that meant he was the same height as me. It’s totally a sign we’re meant to be.

Will I ever forget these facts? Maybe. Will I ever forget the lyrics to his songs? Definitely not because who knows when I will be challenged to a karaoke battle and I need to pull a “One Less Lonely Girl” serenade. What I do know is that at one point in my life, my entire existence was dedicated to this one person, and from time to time, I’ll just google his name to see what he is up to, and it’s usually not good and makes me glad that it was just a stage. I do wish Justin Bieber well in the world, and hope that he stays out of trouble. I also hope that he has stopped using the word ‘swag’ as much because it’s just concerning.