This poem is a really old piece I wrote for my little sister's dreamscape book she cooked up years ago. Though it didn't go very far— she was like, ten when she made it— always look back at this piece as an explanation of what it feels like to write.
There is fear no one will understand what you're saying, and doubt that anybody other than you will appreciate it. Or doubt in yourself really, but that's beside the point. So, give this poem a read, fellow writers, and tell me what you think!
Fear and Doubt
She tears at the pages before her, choosing instead to look out the window. The sheet of mashed tree pulp had been useless for days. The pen is biting, wanting to complete its end of the deal, but unable to.
It was because of the words. The words that can't come out. The words that won't come out. She feels them in her mind, never close nor far. They stop by showing up near the old scars. From the past and some that are more new, she didn't come with only a few.
The words twist into the forms of fear and doubt. They are now those of self-depreciation, and she idly thinks of her hatred of this station. She can't help but let them grow and build until suddenly her mind is unhinged yet bound.
Bound by these thoughts to make her cry. Bound by the desire to just let them all out. She wishes she can be like others, strong and tall. She knows she's not like any of them at all.
Fear turns into a bounty for her word-thought spiders to come and attack. They pick and scrap and drink and nash. They open the wounds that have only recently been uncovered, her insecurities being pulled to the light and made to bleed. The blood breeds a new kind of thought that brings such an appetite that she sits in a bipolar hunger and restless slumber.
She wishes she can just go back to hiding it all, but all for her old tricks now one will fall. They see her silence and suddenly have a call to pause, making her feel trapped in the monster’s maws. In her mind all she can do is silently shout.
Fear and Doubt.
Fear and Doubt.
These are definitely things she wishes to live without.
