I went about my day on Sunday, April 1st as a typical day but something kept holding me back. It was something I did not understand. But this feeling was not unfamiliar to me. I was going through a depressive episode. I could not talk to anyone because it would just not make any sense. I didn't even know what I was feeling.
But I was determined to not let it get to me. It's hard to suffer from depression. But you know something, it does not make you weak. Your fight actually is what makes you strong. Don't give up. This is a poem I wrote on that Sunday, that made me feel like my life was going to turn around, for the better.
No Depression.
People think its easy
To deal with you
You’re like a dictator
An evil school teacher
and every ounce of my being is a student
or a slave that's afraid of you
You make the students feel so worthless and unimportant
while the light in my soul is the rebellious person in the bunch
screaming out words of determination and strength and importance
but no one can hear her when you’re around
Everyone is so afraid of you that this body of mine cannot move
Like your presence absorbs all of her energy
making her kind of inexistent
When she tries to fight you, you grab her entirely like a monster
you stare at her in the grip of your hand and toss her down a hole going nowhere.
She is in the dark
voiceless and numb
She tries to care but you have taken her senses away
you have covered her soul with an armor so cold and hard she doesn’t care about anything anymore
then one day she is bored of it all
the first feeling she has gained in so long
as she starts to scratch and chip away at the armor exposing the first ray of light she’s seen
She sees the shadows of the people in that “classroom” or “Camp” called life up above.
She hears music and that's how she knows you’re not there at the moment.
She starts to climb back up from the hole
she cries, she questions herself, she wonders if it's worth it or not?
She knows she can’t stop.
She knows there is something out there waiting for her.
She can’t let the monster take that too.
She reaches the top and looks around, everyone is happy.
She just doesn’t know when the monster will come back
She just knows that she will be much closer to her mission by the time it does
and when it does, it’ll be much harder to deal with
It’ll be a harder battle
But she is ready, more ready than ever before.
Did it just get dark in here?
-RBS-
