When We Were Us

When We Were Us

Remember when?

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You would eat sliced bananas on your cereal in the mornings.

You told me they were the only fruit you liked, so I bought them in bulk and you stuffed your face with them, and that made me smile.

I don't know when I stopped smiling at that.

Maybe it was when you stopped eating your breakfast at home.

You used to kiss me in the nighttime before we fell asleep.

Your mouth was warm and sweet, and your lips were so thin but they kissed so well that I never noticed then.

I don't know when I began to notice how thin your lips really were.

Maybe it was when they stopped speaking to me for reasons I don't understand.

Maybe it was when they stopped kissing me before the lights went out at night.

You used to sit me on your lap while you watched football games.

I never knew a thing about the game or the plays, but you wanted me there to root on your team and to make you smile just by looking at my face.

I'd cheer when your team did something right, and I'd cry when they lost because them losing broke your heart, and your broken heart meant my broken soul; I loved you just that much.

I don't know when I stopped sitting on your lap and cheering for a sport I never cared to understand and kissing you when they scored just because you were happy, and I was happy just because you were.

Maybe it was when you dropped the football games at home for football games at bars with friends and friends of friends and strangers whose names you didn't know, as if their company was better than mine.

Maybe you just stopped liking the game.

You used to watch me paint like I really was an artist and like you were my biggest fan.

You'd stand in the doorway and stare at my hands, and you'd never say a word as if lost in the colors on my canvas.

I asked you once what you were thinking while you watched me create something out of nothing, and you told me that you'd been questioning how God had come up with the concept of me.

Had He spoken me into existence with the single word "beauty"? Had He thought of you and placed me in your path just to keep you running after something too grand to ever hold?

I never meant to cry when you said things like that because crying was never my thing. But you turned me into a person who cared about the tiny things and the big things and you more than anything else.

I don't know when you stopped watching me paint, stopped leaning against the doorframe and staring at my hands.

Maybe it was when all of the color left the world for you. When you lost your vision and your purpose and everything that made your world beautiful and bright and worth it.

You were always beautiful. And bright. And worth it.

You used to think that I was beautiful. And bright. And worth it.

I don't know when that changed.

Maybe it was when you let go of my hand and found value in the less valuable things.

Maybe it was when you walked away from love because love wasn't something you could define with reason.

Maybe we're better now.

Maybe we're worse.

But I still buy bananas in bulk by instinct and by hope that you'll show up one day and eat them just before they spoil.

You never do.


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20 Small Tattoos With Big Meanings

Tattoos with meaning you can't deny.
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It's tough to find perfect tattoos with meaning.

You probably want something permanent on your body to mean something deeply, but how do you choose a tattoo that will still be significant in 5, 10, 15, or 50 years? Over time, tattoos have lost much of their stigma and many people consider them a form of art, but it's still possible to get a tattoo you regret.

So here are 20 tattoos you can't go wrong with. Each tattoo has its own unique meaning, but don't blame me if you still have to deal with questions that everyone with a tattoo is tired of hearing!

SEE RELATED: "Please Stop Asking What My Tattoos Mean"

1. A semi-colon indicates a pause in a sentence but does not end. Sometimes it seems like you may have stopped, but you choose to continue on.


2. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."


3. Top symbol: unclosed delta symbol which represents open to change. Bottom symbol: strategy.


4. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."


5. Viking symbol meaning "create your own reality."


6.Greek symbol of Inguz: where there's a will, there's a way.

7. Psalm 18:33 "He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights."


8. 'Ohm' tattoo that represents 4 different states of consciousness and a world of illusion: waking (jagrat), dreaming (swapna), deep sleep (sushupti), transcendental state (turiya) and world of illusion (maya)


9. Alchemy: symbolizes copper, means love, balance, feminine beauty and artistic creativity.


10. The Greek word “Meraki" means to do something with soul, passion, love and creativity or to put yourself in to whatever you do.


11. Malin (Skövde, Sweden) – you have to face setbacks to be able to go forward.

12. Symbol meaning "thief" from the Hobbit. It was the rune Gandalf etched into Bilbo's door so the dwarves could find his house.


13. “Lux in tenebris" means “light in darkness."

14. Anchor Tattoo: symbolizing strength & stability, something (or someone) who holds you in place, and provides you the strength to hold on no matter how rough things get.

15."Ad Maiora" is translated literally as “Towards greater things." It is a formula of greeting used to wish more success in life, career or love.


16. A glyphs means “explore." It was meant as a reminder for me to never stop exploring.

17. "Aut inveniam viam aut faciam," meaning roughly, "Either I shall find a way, or I will make one."


18. Lotus Flower. It grows in muddy water, and it is this environment that gives forth the flower's first and most literal meaning: rising and blooming above the murk to achieve enlightenment.

19. The zen (or ensō) circle to me represents enlightenment, the universe & the strength we all have inside of us.

20. Two meanings. The moon affirms life. It looks as if it is constantly changing. Can reminds us of the inconsistency of life. It is also symbolizes the continuous circular nature of time and even karma.


SEE ALSO: Sorry That You're Offended, But I Won't Apologize For My Tattoos


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Whether Modest Or Completely Revealed, How I Dress Affects No One But Me

Not one woman defines our entire gender, and how I dress doesn't define anyone but myself.

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You'll find me in skinny jeans, boots, and a sweater. It's simple, fairly modest, but accents my curves in the best way possible. My friend Sarah will be in skinny jeans, heels of some sort, and a tight shirt that shows off more cleavage than I would ever dare. My friend Emery will wear a top two sizes too large, sneakers, and whatever looks most comfortable that day. We're all smart. We're all kind. We all want to make the world a better place. We all care for our bodies and respect ourselves, but the way we present ourselves couldn't be any more different.

But some people have an issue with that. Some people believe that dressing in a way that you feel comfortable or most confident makes you look lazy, or that, since women's bodies incite lust in men and can make other women feel insecure, we should focus on preventing others from feeling uncomfortable and instead base our wardrobes around them and their needs.

I can understand these arguments to an extent, but there's a problem with these arguments: if we're basing our wardrobe around what others want and feel, this takes away the confidence and security that many women feel in their clothes. Women aren't perfect creatures. We aren't strong and secure in our bodies 24/7. We don't have a magic wand that will make us feel beautiful or confident at all points in our lives—and that's why many of us turn to clothes that accent the positives attributes we feel that we have and minimize our insecurities.

Even in the article that focused on avoiding making other women feel insecure, there was a big issue; in the cover photo used, you can very clearly see her arms. That's great, but seeing other women's perfectly clear arms makes me insecure due to the eczema I have on mine. If we try to make every woman feel beautiful by stripping away articles of clothing that could make others feel insecure, we will end up covered head-to-toe in shapeless, bland dresses with no individuality.

It is not my job to ensure that people don't find my clothes distressing because I'm showing off my curves. It is not Emery's job to make sure that people don't find her casual clothes "too lazy looking." It is not Sarah's job to be careful about looking "too sexy" in her clothes. Our only jobs are to follow the laws about indecent exposure and feel comfortable in the clothes we chose to wear that day. So instead of focusing on looking perfect every day and trying to hide the areas of our bodies that we're proud of, let's do something else.

Let's focus on our positive attributes, support one another, and not judge each other based on what we're wearing.

We live in a society where women need to look perfect, show just the perfect amount of cleavage, have skirts resting at just the perfect length... why can't we just wear whatever we want to wear and feel confident in our bodies? Why can't we smile and appreciate the woman who dresses modestly during the weekday but wears almost nothing on the weekend? Why do we automatically think the girl wearing sweats to her 2 p.m. English class is lazy, and why do we assume the girl wearing a skintight leather dress to her 8:30 a.m. ethics class sleeps around a lot?

Why can't we just compliment these women? Why can't we acknowledge them for who they are rather than what they look like? If we help women with their self-confidence and help them feel more confident in the body they have, we won't need to hide our positive assets. If we work together to build each other up rather than tear each other down, we'll live in a better world.

Because guess what? Sarah, Emery, and I are all equally valid. We're all intelligent. We all respect our bodies, and we respect each others' bodies. Maybe everyone else should do the same.

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