There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who must please in everything they do and those who could honestly care less. Unfortunately, I fall into the former category. The question is: It is my personality or is it a product of the current educational system? From the time kids are being potty-trained, they are taught to do “their best” in school, meaning that their parents/guardians instill a belief that they are capable of achieving the top-notch grades (preferably As).
Hey kid, please take your nap and eat your graham cracker so that the teacher won’t have deal with your behavioral concerns.
Hey kid, do your homework so that you can accomplish your dreams.
Hey kid, don’t pee in the waste basket or light the room on fire in study hall.
Hey kid, I see talent in you so I am going to secretly nurture it for my own publication.
Jump here. Jump there. But you are not truly going anywhere.
The pleaser does not like a lot of confrontation or arguments. Generally, the pleaser likes to stay in the background and go through life with determination and diligence, rather than assertive or forceful undertaking. The pleasers are the hippies of all generations — let’s make peace and not war — whether they wear bell-bottoms or not. The advantages are staying out of trouble, making friends easily, being a source of comfort to peers and having a genuine heart.
The life of a pleaser is not always easy. Higher education is a challenge because most of the time that teacher won’t curve a grade based on how many times you’ve lost sleep, how stressed you feel, or how much painstaking effort you have made just trying to analyze their head. Because, guess what? They want you to feel the slow burn of what they have been going through for 20 years. They want you to feel the torturing ache so that you can get better at knowing what they know. The disadvantage is that there is always someone who cannot be convinced. They want to win and they are just as determined as you are. If you are not careful, you will get knocked down peg by peg and crash like a Jenga tower. The pleasing is your default but your default is no more.
