I’ve been working in the food business for six years now, and there are a lot of things that I enjoy. I like working in a fast-paced environment and working with people all day. Every day is different even though. In theory, you’re doing the same job, but the people you work with daily change. However, there are those select few that simply don’t know how to treat wait staff. One of the biggest trends that I’ve noticed is that some people do not tip their wait staff or treat them with respect. I have a few things that I would like to say about this.

Firstly, I absolutely hate when people say, “Well I don’t get tipped for doing my job, why should I tip you for doing yours?” To the humans who feel this way: Wait staff gets paid less hourly because it is assumed that we will make up the difference in tips. Therefore, when you don’t tip us because you think it’s just extra cash in our pockets, you’re basically not even allowing us to make minimum wage.

However, not tipping (or tipping poorly) is just one form of the disrespect waitresses and waiters face. They say, “Take your girl swimming on the first date.” I say, take them to a restaurant. I judge peoples’ character directly on how they treat wait staff. I simply do not understand why people feel entitled to be rude to their servers. We’re people just like everyone else.

A lot of this stems from the incorrect assumption that, because I’m a waitress, I am going nowhere in life. I’m certainly not pursuing higher education. I’m just waiting to find a man to support me. That seems like an outrageous accusation, right? It’s 2016, who would actually think that? I will give you a direct example of this from my current job. I was serving an older couple one day. The wife was asking me about school and what my major was and everything. Mid-conversation, the husband interrupts and says, “No, science isn’t for a woman. You should just go hang out at Yale and find yourself a husband.”

I was appalled. I honestly did not know how to respond to that, so I just laughed alongside him and said I would be back to check on them in a few minutes. I think the worst part about this interaction was that I wasn’t very surprised. Many people are shocked when I tell them that I am currently pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Science. Not all of them are outright rude to that one customer, but their facial expressions and demeanor toward me are the same. They look down on me and sincerely don’t believe that I can’t do it. Why? Because I have a waitressing job to help deflect some of the cost of my student loans? To pay my car insurance? How awful of me. I definitely do not have any aspirations.

I think the worst part about being a waitress (and I can’t speak to the male waiter perspective on this) is the sexual objectification that occurs. Because I’m a woman in a service position, that automatically entitles some men to ogle me and hit on me, and if I don’t smile and play along, then I won’t get a tip. Some of the interactions that I’ve had are outright disgusting and inappropriate. I will give you an example of one encounter I had.

I worked at a different restaurant before the one that I work in now, and that restaurant had an ice cream station. I was working ice cream that day when a man, who had to be 45 or so, came in with his son, who had to be close to my age at the time. The man spent the entirety of our interaction shamelessly flirting with me. I promise you it wasn’t me reading too much into it because his son was looking at him with shock and disgust written all over his face. After an inappropriate comment or two, he then made a joke about me having kids, so I decided to interject. I looked at him right in the eyes and said, “Sir, I’m fifteen.”

Are you shocked? I was fifteen when this happened. His face went white. His son walked out of the restaurant, and the father quickly paid and walked out after mumbling some half-assed apology. That’s not an isolated incident. This happens all of the time. However, I thought it was the best example to use because I was so young when it occurred. People get bolder when they know you are legally an adult. How absolutely repulsive is it that a 40-something-year-old man with a son approximately my age thought it was appropriate to be hitting on me?

Not every customer is like this, of course, and I don’t mind being a waitress. Waitressing is actually a position that I truly enjoy. However, the way that wait-staffs are treated by some people is downright deplorable and should be stopped. So stop the sexual objectification and the condescension. Please…tip your waitress.