"Bringing anyone special back with you?”
“Oh, you’re alone… what, he couldn’t make it?”
“When are you ever going to get a boyfriend?”
“You’ll find someone eventually honey.”
Throughout the past few months, these questions have become all too familiar to me. I know that I’m not alone in this. Going off to college means a new adventure filled with countless new people. With that, society has come up with this morphed idea that college means love. You can’t seem to breathe without people asking about your relationship status. If I didn’t know any better, I’d start to think I was going to college simply to find a husband. Screw going to law school one day, sign me up to learn how to be a wife instead!
In case you forgot, let me remind you of something. College does not automatically mean love and a relationship! College means working towards a goal to make yourself happy and not anyone else. What was that? Oh, you need me to be louder, okay! COLLEGE DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN LOVE AND A RELATIONSHIP! Phew! I’m glad you finally heard that!
Yes, college is great and there are many new people. However, I have my standards and I’m not willing to settle. I won’t settle for temporary. I won’t settle for drunken Snapchats at 2:00 a.m. asking me to come over. I won’t settle for that guy from last Friday night who asked me to dance then started to get a little too comfortable with where he was putting his hands. I won’t settle for someone who treats me like an object. I won’t settle for someone who only wants to hang out when he feels like it. I won’t settle for someone who only likes what they can see but doesn’t appreciate my heart. All of those things are temporary signs of lust and I won’t settle for it.
My name means strong and that is exactly what I am. From my everyday life to my relationships with significant others, I maintain my strong personality. I am like a lion: aggressive and protective. I speak what is on my mind and am not afraid to call you out on your bullsh*t. I have a plan and know what I want. I move swiftly and make decisions with regards to my best interest. I demand as much honesty, respect, and loyalty as I give you. I’m not some quiet mouse hiding in the corner hoping to find some leftover bread crumbs. Don’t mistake my strong personality for insensitivity though; I have a lot of room in my heart for others.
So to everyone who asks why I haven’t brought anyone home yet, let me tell you why. It’s because as of now, I haven’t found anyone. I haven’t found anyone willing to deal with my sometimes overpowering personality. I haven’t found someone who doesn’t become a doormat anytime I start to show signs of my lioness roar. I haven’t found someone who isn’t afraid to call me out when I’m the one full of bullsh*t. I haven’t found someone willing to keep up with me and remind me to slow down at times.
Most importantly though, I haven’t found anyone who doesn’t look upon my past with pity. Someone who doesn’t feel the need to try and fix the parts of me that still ache. Someone who will embrace every broken part of me and see it the way I do, as something beautiful and something that shows bravery. Someone who will stick by me through my good and bad days. Someone who will respect me and cherish me. Someone who sees my worth and shares my values. Someone who sees my dance with the Lord and encourages me to keep going. Someone after God’s heart. Someone who loves me like my Heavenly Father.
So for now, family and friends, I come to you with one simple request. Please stop asking me and all of the other young people in your life when they are going to bring someone home. College is hard enough without the pressure of finding someone else. Also, if memory serves me right, I seem to remember learning in anatomy how men and women both have all the necessary organs to function as individuals. So next time you see a college student, remember, COLLEGE DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP!
Note: This article is not meant to criticize those that do find their significant others right away in college, it is simply to shed light on the fact that times are changing. Men and women don't need to have someone else in order to be complete, we can be complete all on our own.
