As humans, we naturally like to be affirmed by people we are around. We like to feel important. We like to be complimented, reassured, and loved. This is normal. This is great, to a certain point. As a female, I am told by society that I need to find a man that makes me his world, his number 1 priority, and is able to save me from this burning castle called “life.” Sorry boys, no thanks. I might be a damsel in distress sometimes, but I’ve already been rescued. My top priority spot has already been filled, and a Man gave me the world a long time ago.

Now don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to fall in love. I cannot wait to give a special part of myself to another person. I cannot wait to love someone for their strengths and weakness, while getting the same in return. I cannot wait to be giddy and crazy in love. And I cannot wait to put him second. A man shouldn’t have to give me the world or save me from it. He has his own demons to fight. He shouldn’t have to make me his top priority, because frankly, I will never be worthy of that spot. And he should never expect me to do anything differently for him. No human is capable of fighting off my demons, and I am not capable to fight off anyone else’s. But I know a God that can. Loving someone doesn’t mean sacrificing everything you have to make him or her happy. It means sacrificing your time to love them with everything you can, and realizing when you need to turn their heart to God. It doesn’t mean solving all of their problems. It means holding their hand through it and reminding them that God has a plan. It means feeling their pain, but realizing you may not be able to fix it. It’s about being in the world with them, not about being their world. It’s about reminding them of their top priority, not being their top priority. And it’s about loving life together, not saving each other from it.

So to the next boy that catches my heart, know that you will always be second, and know that because I put Him first I am able to love you best. Please know that in loving Him first, I will be better for you. I will know how to sacrifice and love unconditionally. I will know how to forgive the unforgivable and serve with a merciful heart. He is preparing me for you, and will continue equip me to love you properly throughout life. I promise to love you completely, but please put me second.