I have never in my life battled anything so difficult as the challenge of quitting cigarettes. No matter how many times I had been warned against the habit in my youth, somehow I shrugged off these warnings and fell into the hell of addiction. For a little over a year, I’ve been in a state of perpetual quitting, and it never seems to get any easier.
The only thing that has ever soothed me during this journey has been music. If you’re even an ounce like me, then you need a song for every hour of your life, and this is no different. Music can be a most powerful thing—a life-changing thing.
Therefore, I want to offer you these three gems.
All of them belong to the band Sixx:A.M., whose bassist and lyricist, Nikki Sixx, initially of Mötley Crüe, struggled with a heroin addiction during the 1980s, culminating in not one but two nearly fatal overdoses. In 2006, he published his diary penned during that time, “The Heroin Diaries,” alongside a full-length album of the same name. While some may argue that heroin is an entirely different monster, the theme is the same: addiction.
Happily, this album veers away from the age-old glorification of drug use, finally fully detailing tomorrow's aftermath, which is not so easily romanticized as yesterday’s debauchery—and therefore serves as the perfect comfort for a long journey back to healthfulness. Of course, the descriptions below are my own interpretations of these songs, and may not coincide perfectly with the intent of their authors. But isn’t that the beauty of music—that it can mean anything that you need it to mean?
- "Tomorrow," from “The Heroin Diaries” – this is for when you’re quitting, for the first time or the 50th. It’s easy to justify giving this day away to the addiction, but as the song insists, “you’ll never outrun what waits for you tomorrow.” This song forces you to reevaluate your life and seriously contemplate whether you’re content with who you are and what you’re doing today. “Are you waiting for the reason to change? Are you waiting for the end—‘cause it came…nothing’s gonna stand in your way.”
- "Accidents Can Happen," from “The Heroin Diaries” – this is for when you’ve relapsed. Especially when it comes to cigarette addiction, it’s virtually inevitable that you’ll experience a relapse or two in your recovery—the average smoker has to quit seven to ten times before they’re quit for good. But this song reassures you that the fight is far from over, and that any day is a good day to start again. “We all fall off the wagon sometimes. It’s not your whole life, it’s only one day—you haven’t thrown everything away.”
- "Relief," from “Modern Vintage” – this is for when you’re sobbing in the shower at midnight. (Seriously, I’ve been there several times.) It lets you know that you may be battling your demons right now, but you will be able to pull through it, and you’ll be happier, healthier, and better for it when the fight’s finally won. Despite the seemingly crushing weight of this moment, one day, very soon, “all the weight of the world feels like a light rain. And you will find some relief then. Yes, you will find some relief then.”
No matter how many times you fall, always get up again. You have to remember that the struggle is worth it, and being able to breathe again trumps a momentary buzz. And even when you're in the throes of withdrawal, remember one phrase: "If Nikki Sixx can survive 1987, then I can survive today."
