I think we all have those thing/ things that we love to do, that make us feel something we don't normally feel. For me, one of those things is playing my violin. I'm not a professional and don't really care to be, I play it not to achieve anything, but simply because it feels good. It's this feeling of wholeness, this rush where you feel completely alive.

The other day my husband was experimenting with making digital music on his computer. There were some very realistic violin and string sound effects that he was listening to, and it got me excited like hearing strings always does, to want to play it myself, not just listen to the music, but feel it and be a part of it.

I went to my room and opened my violin case that I hadn't opened in over three months sadly, I had gotten busy with writing, school, playing games, and hanging out with people that I had put my violin aside for a while, something I always regret doing. I half expected my violin to out of tune, but my case did a good job at protecting it. The humidity measured just right. I plucked the strings with my finger, each string sounded just as it should.

I searched the house for my music stand and music books and found them hiding in one of the closets. I pulled out my violin. Strapped the shoulder rest on that's age was beginning to show, and tightened the hairs on my bow, noting that it probably needed its hairs replaced sometime.

I first played violin when I was ten, I rented one and started taking lessons because I wanted to. The first time I brought that first rented violin home before my first lesson, it made a horrible shredding scraping sound as I pulled the bow across the string. I wondered how anyone got such beautiful sounds out of this instrument, but I eagerly awaited my lesson hoping that learning properly would resolve the horrible scraping and squeaking and turn my noise into music.

It did. After years of practice and lessons, playing with church groups and recitals, I learned and I'm glad I did. So this time, even though I hadn't played for a few months I sight read a few songs with ease, reading the notes as if they were words on a page. I marveled at how I could even look at songs I hadn't played in years and know the tune just by looking at the notes and humming it in my head. For a while, I flipped through the pages of fiddling tunes, but then I found my Star Wars soundtrack sheet music and decided to play that instead.

I sight read one song and the rich deep notes flowed. It wasn't perfect, but it was close enough. It felt amazing moving my bow arm with broad expressive motions and moving my fingers across the strings with ease. Something about those motions and the rich sounds that follow fill me with this rush of emotion, it feels good.

The moment I started playing, I remembered why I loved it and how good it felt. No matter how I might have been feeling prior, I could have been down or sick or miserable all day, but the minute I start playing my violin that all fades and it's just me, my violin, and the music. It flows through me, I don't have to try hard or think to figure anything out. Sometimes music is a relief from the typical way of thinking and communicating, it's like a language that is spoken with your soul rather than your mouth. You don't have to form words in an articulate manner, you just communicate sound and emotion as it flows through your arms and fingers into the vibrations and notes in your violin.

I'm sure other people have instruments they like to play, hobbies they love, things they do that make them feel that amazing feeling. It makes me realize why I love it, and just for that feeling I could play it every day, and I think I will.