Okay listen up.
Don't get it twisted, I love me some Halloween. I rock Halloween. Look at my costume this year:
I look dope.
But the fact that I can go into CVS on July 31 and be greeted by 7,000 dancing Frankensteins, 50 cent candy corn, and those flags you put outside of your house that say "BOO" except the two Os are a ghost's eyes means we have a problem.
Trust me. No one is going to forget about Halloween. It's been shoved down our throats since the middle of the summer. SUMMER.
Halloween is gone. October 2015 is history. It's hitting the road and taking all of the jack o' lanterns, Leg Avenue costumes, and Fall-themed Starbucks cups with it.
But guess what, y'all? The red Starbucks cups are coming in. Someone else finally gets a turn to dance. And that dance? Is performed to some of the greatest sounds of all time...
You bet your ass I'm that annoying chick who waits all year for Halloween just so come midnight she can blast Frosty the Snowman. I'll sneak Michael Bublé into your scary party playlist just you watch me.
Halloween is over don't you dare tell me I can't play Christmas music.
After all this time Christmas is now free to dominate the drug store decoration market with music to match blasting from every crevice. Everyone who walks around all high and mighty because they believe Christmas music shouldn't be played until after Thanksgiving was probably the same kid who ran around saying Santa Claus wasn't real in like 1st grade; got the magic sucked from them too soon and can't let anyone else enjoy it. Bah. Humbug.
There's a reason Thanksgiving songs don't exist-it's a terrible idea. Every song would be about turkey and your face is too busy being stuffed with food to sing songs the day of anyway. Meanwhile, any person can find a subsection of Christmas music to enjoy. Personally I fall victim to anything that leaves Frank Sinatra's mouth.
This isn't even a religious thing. This is about how CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS THE GREATEST MUSIC TO EVER EXIST. (The previous sentence was a caps lock error, but I think it's a good addition so I've decided to keep it.) Christmas music is the ultimate get hype playlist and has been repressed all year. I can't accidentally hum Deck the Halls before November without getting berated in public.
Well NO MORE. We Christmas music lovers have waited our turn. We've sat through Auld Lang Syne, every sad love song, patriotic marches and spooky tunes all year long.
It's our time. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are all part of the "holiday season," which officially ends with Halloween. So on November 1 I don't wanna hear any of this "It's not even Thanksgiving yet!" nonsense.
We've waited. We've been patient. And just watch what will happen if you tell me I can't dance to Jingle Bell Rock at 2 a.m. in my room.
Just watch me.
Happy Holidays, motherelfer.