Recently, I have been overcome with the fact that for so much of my life I have been using my story (my pains, my hurts) as a means of self-pity.
It had been all about me until I was burdened with this sobering fact.
How often was sharing my story so consumed with me?
How often have I longed for a different story?
When all along, my story is the perfect platform to bring hope through His name. I am given opportunity after opportunity to share my story, and each of those are obvious opportunities to bring Him the glory instead of warping my story to suggest a desire for pity.
When life is rough, even in the most minuscule way, I think many of us are blind to how often our motives are self-seeking.
Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."
Nothing
More often than we would like to admit, our true motives deep inside are mighty selfish.
Over the past month, the Lord has been revealing to me the upsetting truth about my intentions in situation after situation; in opportunity after opportunity.
Am I sharing my story with the means to bring me more pity or to give Him more glory?
Ouch
Dang, that is so very hard to hear.
Am I so consumed in wallowing in my own filth, consumed with self-pity, rather than turning my eyes to the One in control of the current circumstance and encouraging others to do the same?
As I write this, I am brought to a complete halt.
My heart aches.
How many opportunities that have been given by Him have I taken for me?
Like it is mine to take in the first place?
A woman who calls herself a daughter of the King acting like a spoiled brat; my heart aches.
It's exhausting being consumed with myself.
I am never pleased.
I am always left wanting more or less of this and that.
Reading Philippians 4:12-13 hit home.
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
Woah
I can do all things, including dying to myself and my selfish desires, through Him who strengthens me.
There are no exceptions.
It all comes down to faith.
Do I believe, truly believe, I can do anything through the power of Jesus?
That I can endure all things because of Christ?
That I can push through a pain-filled life because of Christ?
Do I believe that?
If the answer is yes, quit pitying yourself.
You can do it.
Scratch that
HE can do it.
Stop trying so hard.
Isn't it exhausting trying so hard?
Quit relying on strength you are desperately trying to muster and release everything to the only One who can carry it all.
He carried it all on the cross centuries and centuries ago.
Live in the freedom of the cross instead of living in the shadow of the walls we create.
Walls of making things harder than need be.
Quit making things harder than they already are.
Quit searching for pity in every corridor.
It's all about His Name being known, not mine.
Done pitying yourself yet?
