Merriam Webster Dictionary defines “Family” as a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
Now in America we have this idea of a picture perfect family. A mother, a father, 2.5 kids, a house, a four car garage, plenty of food on the table, games to go around; you all know, why do I have to tell you. This is the American Dream. Family according to this society, is what actually makes you 100% a part of it.
I started to think about what it would actually be like living in the home of “The Perfect Family”. Here’s an idea of the conversation that went on in my brain:
Mother: Kids! Time for dinner!
Son: Food! Oh boy!
Dad: Lets dig in son!
Mother: Wait, wheres your sister; Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Where are you?
Daughter: Right here mum.
Mother: Now, let us bow our heads in prayer.
[The dog eats something from the table without them looking]
In the name of the…..
End this sappy scene i created from my brain.
Sounds a little silly ,and kinda fictional doesn't it? Lets make this a big more realistic. This is a little closer to what family meal time looks like in the eyes of the American Parent Today.
[Metal music blaring from speakers off set]
Mom (screaming): JOHN YOU TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN RIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR YOUR DINNER.
John(screaming): I DON’T WANT TO TURN DOWN MY MUSIC, IT ROCKS.
Dad(screaming): SON TURN OFF THAT MUSIC OR YOUR GROUNDED.
John(Screaming): GO TO HELL DAD.
[Dad shuts off music, and goes to strangle son]
We just have this really wrong horrible idea of what a family is supposed to be like. Now, here is something interesting, and this is from the media.
In an episode of Speechles,s Ray is really upset because his family is not “perfect” or the way he wants them to be. Here is his dads response:
How cute is that? So he tells his kid its okay to be an imperfect family! They don’t need to care about what other people think! Bravo! Yes! We dont need a four car garage to be fucking happy!
What people don’t get is that its all okay. Its okay to not go around Winston Salem without a professional photographer tracking your trails, and taking some candid pics every few feet. It’s okay to not be this idea of a perfect family that the government deems is perfect.
Its okay to be that family that sits around drinking sweet tea, being crazy all evening long! Its okay! Because it is not about how great your family looks, its about the things you will remember. Creating fun memories that will last a lifetime. When someone is spending time with their family, they should not think, “Will this look cool on Instagram?” A family is NOT an accessory, its something more precious than gold.
Look, all I'm saying is we don’t all have to pretend to be the perfect family all the time. Its okay to say “Oh yeah, my son comes home, and just trashes his room.” “I don’t have an organized house.” We don’t have to hide behind this magical umbrella of THE PERFECT FAMILY. I hate to be captain obvious.
Pretending to be perfect all the time teaches the kids absolutely nothing. All it teaches them is how to hide who they are from the real world. How to be great at the skill of wearing a mask (Example: The Real O Neal's Season 1)
Getting back to the idea of “The Real O Neals”….. the whole idea of this is that the wife Eileen is surrounded by this life in boxes. She is living the American Dream. When her idea of the American Dream gets misplaced, she gets upset about it. The perfect example that you need a man to do absolutely everything. So I mean, there are countless episodes that show she's trying to show her community this perfect family like the first especially, and then again season 2 when the bishop comes over for dinner. She spends hours preparing this fabulous dinner for him, and goes through great lengths to hide her boyfriend from him; and then she basically ends up introducing her boyfriend as her husband…. etc. She ends up learning her life dosnt HAVE to be perfect all the time.
I want to share with you a video that I found on the internet called “Doll Face”:
We torture ourselves over this idea of perfect beauty. While this video is about appearances, it can also be applied to the idea of the perfect family. We can stop pushing ourselves and our families to be perfect all the time! We don’t have to be like this.
It’s okay, for a family to not be okay. You’re family is no less perfect than anyone else’s, just because you don’t have something someone else does. Just because your Instagram followers don’t like everything in your home does not mean your home just sucks or your life does. Home is where the heart is, not Instagram. We don’t have to live to impress people all the time.
So if you have been thinking how imperfect your family is lately I just have one hope for you, that you reverse that thinking, and begin thinking about how AWESOME your family is instead. Yeah. Its just not cool man to think otherwise, these people are your flesh and blood. Treat them as such.
