This Is How You Don't Pick Up A Plus Sized Woman

This Is How You Don't Pick Up A Plus Sized Woman

I'm glad you like my body because I do too.

The following is a list of pickup lines or first messages I have personally received from men, most of them based on my body. I am a plus sized woman, but that doesn't mean I am another species. I'm not so desperate for a man that you should treat me (or any other plus sized woman) any differently than you would a skinny girl. I hope you will read these messages and use them to understand the problems in the way that our society tells us men should treat women who are not conventionally beautiful.

"You're so THICC."

I get this one almost every time I talk to any guy from my small hometown in New York, so this might have to do with this region and their views on women's bodies. Either way, "thicc" is not a real word. "Thicc" is a word you call an attractive plus sized woman, and if you are a plus sized woman not being sexualized of fetishized for your size, you are just considered "fat".

So yeah, I'm a plus sized woman. So what? I'm going to assume that this means you find big women attractive (or maybe you're just telling me I'm big which is an entirely different fight because, I own a mirror, I know), and I'm glad you like my body because I do too. If the best line you have is "you're so thicc," you don't deserve my time and you are focusing on the wrong thing.

"Thick thighs save lives."

Are you attracted to my thighs? Are you saying that you think my thighs will save your life in some way? Are you simply stating a fact about chicken thighs and their nutritional value? The world may never know. Men message me about photos I post in shorts, and I'd like you to know that I took that photo and posted it without ever once considering your opinion on my fat thighs. If I want you to tell me that you think my legs look good, I will let you know. I'm an empowered feminist like that.

"I've always been attracted to 'Big Girls'."

I'm glad to hear that I'm your type, but maybe you shouldn't start out by telling me that the only reason you're attracted to me is because I'm fat. Actually, not maybe, you definitely should not start out by telling someone the only reason you're attracted to them is because you have some weird fetish about plus sized women and that you only care about their body.

"Mama thick AF."

I've never met your mother but I don't think she would appreciate you calling her thick. Congrats on actually using a real word this time, but again, it's unclear what you expect to get out of this interaction. If you're looking for me to be your new mother, you're not off to the best start (you've already started swearing at me!) and I'm not looking to raise a grown man who doesn't know how to treat women.

"What size bra do you wear? They are so big."

Um... does your mom know you talk to women like this? You can obviously see I have big breasts but why do you think it is appropriate to ask me about them? Are you going to buy me a bra? Gifts are a good way to get a girl to like you, but maybe you should start with something a little less intimate.

All-in-all we have a problem of men telling us that we are only attractive because we are "fat", not because we are beautiful, have amazing personalities, or any of the things you would look for in any other woman. Then men use my weight to demean me after I have turned them down. If you are at all overweight you know how it feels to tell someone you aren't attracted to them and then they say...

"Whatever, you're fat anyway."

This honestly doesn't even make sense. You were the one hitting on me, and you most likely used one of the lines from above to tell me how much you want to sleep with me. You are just trying to make me feel the same rejection and pain that you are feeling, but here is a break through for you: fat does not mean ugly. It means I have fat on my body, and guess what I am fat - I didn't need you to tell me that. Fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive.

So at the end of the day there are only a few things you need to remember when dealing with a plus sized woman you find attractive:

1. Don't tell her she is only attractive because she is fat.

2. Fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive.

Don't treat her with any less respect than you would any other woman you find attractive. Fat does not mean desperate.

Cover Image Credit: Kirstin Sherman

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.

7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.


Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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