11 Things To NEVER Say To Someone With Anxiety
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Health and Wellness

11 Things To NEVER Say To Someone With Anxiety

It's like being trapped inside a small box while everything good in your life is outside of it but you cannot get out, you are stuck.

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In honor of mental health awareness day on Wednesday, Oct. 10th, there are many things I have thought of that you should not say to a person who is struggling with anxiety. Having anxiety is not something we make up, it is very real, and knowing what will help someone during a panic attack or an anxious time in their life can help them and you! If you don't have anxiety, it might be difficult to know how to help them so hopefully, these tips can give you some insight.

1. "Just get over it"

Telling someone with anxiety to "just get over it" is like telling someone with a broken back to do 10 backflips in a row, it just doesn't make sense. If you want to help them get over it, try just being there for them and asking them what is wrong.

2. "You are fine"

No, they are not fine. They can be fine eventually if you do not put down their anxious feelings and try to calm them down instead. Ask them what will help and start from there.

3. "Anxiety isn't real"

If you have never had anxiety, you won't know what people with anxiety feel like when they experience this but it is 100% real to them. It is a feeling they get, just as real as when you feel hungry 'cause you have not eaten in 12 hours. It is so real to them, so make sure you recognize that!

4. "It is all in your head"

Telling us that it is all in our head makes us feel like you do not believe us and that we are just making this up for attention. If people with anxiety made up panic attacks for attention, we would be pretty twisted. Being anxious and everything that comes along with it is not fun, I promise it is not all in our head. We wish it was.

5. "I totally understand what you are going through"

For people who have anxiety, you know that this is one of the most annoying ones ever. If you are someone who does not have anxiety and you complain all day about how hard everything is in life and how you got a little nervous before a test and you think that is anxiety, and you bring your everyday problems and compare them to anxiety you are wrong. Anxiety is a recurring thing, it does not just show up when one little thing in our lives goes wrong. It never goes away. Saying you have anxiety because you missed your nail appointment is ridiculous because that is not anxiety. If you are not clinically diagnosed with anxiety, do not throw it around like you have been.

6. "I don't know why you're so upset, chill"

I wish I could chill, and I also wish I knew why I was upset too! You could be sitting in a room full of all of your loved ones with all the best food in the world and some music playing and all of a sudden a panic attack could hit you. That is the most difficult part of anxiety because you don't know what it stemmed from so you have a harder time trying to calm yourself down. I know you may not know why people with anxiety get upset, but 99% of the time we don't either.

7. "You need help"

Telling someone with an anxiety disorder that they need help can only make them feel worse because it will make them feel like people think something is wrong with them and they aren't normal. That is how anxious people think, trust me. Instead say, "Is there anything you think would help that I can help you with?" and go from there!

8. "Have a drink, you will feel better"

No. No, they won't. Drinking will probably make them feel worse because drinking alters how you feel and drinking is something that suppresses you! You want them to do something that is good for them, not something that makes them feel not like their own self.

9. "Calm down"

Trust me, WE ARE TRYING.

10. "Let it go"

Being anxious is something we wish every day could be just "let go" but that is completely impossible. We do not choose to be anxious, it stems from things in our past that have led us to feel this way and letting it go is not the answer.

11. "Be more positive"

This is what people with anxiety want to do! But, anxiety holds us back. It's like being trapped inside a small box while everything good in your life is outside of it but you cannot get out, you are stuck. We want to get outside of the box and reach that positivity but the box is glued shut. So trust me, we want to, we just struggle with it.

Being anxious is not something everyone understands and that is OK! Just remember to ask more calming questions rather than jumping to conclusions when you are talking to someone with anxiety. Anxiety sucks, so spreading awareness so everyone knows it is real is what I hope this brings!

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Is God Reckless?

Exploring the controversy behind the popular worship song "Reckless Love"

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Is God Reckless?


First things first I do not agree with people getting so caught up in the specific theology of a song that they forget who they are singing the song to. I normally don't pay attention to negative things that people say about worship music, but the things that people were saying caught my attention. For example, that the song was not biblical and should not be sung in churches. Worship was created to glorify God, and not to argue over what kind of theology the artist used to write the song. I was not made aware of the controversy surrounding the popular song "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury until about a week ago, but now that I am aware this is what I have concluded.The controversy surrounding the song is how the term reckless is used to describe God's love. This is the statement that Cory Asbury released after many people questioned his theology regarding his lyrics. I think that by trying to clarify what the song was saying he added to the confusion behind the controversy.This is what he had to say,
"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.


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