The 27 Phases Of "Shredding For The Wedding"
Start writing a post
Student Life

The 27 Phases Of "Shredding For The Wedding"

Eventually, I figured out that my worth will never be tied to the diets that I stick to or the work-outs that I participate in.

1050
The 27 Phases Of "Shredding For The Wedding"
Ny Magazine

As most of you know by now, I will be wed in less than a month! It is quite an exciting time, but there are also numerous pressures that pile up on a bride. Thankfully, I opted out of the traditional wedding with the 17 bridesmaids, elaborate centerpieces, overpriced venue and open bar. Instead, we have decided to have a destination wedding with a pretty intimate group on a sunny and very peaceful beach in California. (Although we might still have an open bar, because alcohol is kind of awesome).

A beach wedding is everything I could have ever hoped for, and it has cut the cost (and my stress) in half! However, even with a simple wedding ceremony, one underlying pressure remains. The pressure to obtain a "perfect wedding body". It is something that has haunted brides of all sizes (probably) from the beginning of time (excluding the pregnant brides, of course). They are allowed to be as large as they want, and no one can say a damn thing! I'm a little bit jealous, honestly.

The non-impregnated brides (like myself) are left with crash diets, strange detox teas, intricate work-out regimes and being "hangry" all the time. I started my engagement with a very positive outlook on dieting and working out. I was ready to kick ass and take names, and eventually be in the best shape of my life on my special day. And then life happened. Various health problems occurred, unfortunate circumstances popped up and unexpected bumps in the road all led to my ultimate derailing. I probably won't be in the best shape of my life on my special day, but that's okay, because even on my least desirable day, I still find comfort in the fact that the sweetest, most charming, God-fearing man has decided to make me his wife! And that is a beautiful truth that will never be taken away by my lack of discipline or dieting.

Here are some of my most rocky (and most rewarding) moments on this very unpredictable journey.


When he proposes during the holiday season and you're freaking out

But first things first, don't do this! Crash diets are no joke. There are a million healthy ways to lose weight, but this is not one of them.


So you choose a healthy dieting plan, and naturally you have questions


Alright, you have your diet all figured out, you're ready to do the damn thing!

2.5 seconds into your new life plan


Trying to get pumped up about your new work-out plan... false motivation is better than no motivation, right?!


After working out approximately three times and not seeing miraculous results


Trying so hard to be a productive adult and work-out before 12 noon


Forcing yourself to do cardio like


About a week into the process


Which is why dance cardio is my absolute FAVORITE!


But I would like to point out that you'll probably never look like this without plastic surgery, so don't set unrealistic goals!


And inevitably you will figure out that dieting is JUST as important as working out


You will eventually learn that most healthy foods taste like absolute garbage


And unfortunately, some meal prep may be required


Occasionally, you will luck out and find an awesome and HEALTHY pinterest recipe that actually tastes decent, and that is a very good day!


But cheat day is the greatest of them all, I look something like this


Be careful though, a cheat day can very well become a cheat life


And then you spend hours in the mirror like


And beware, "hanger" will strike and diet "hangry" is way worse than regular "hangry"


But when "hanger" strikes, my fiancé knows to always have snacks on deck


"Hanger" aside, nothing can compare to the combination of menstrual cramps, monthly cravings AND trying to balance a healthy diet


True story


But ultimately, I hope that you realize that your worth is not dependent on your size


Only you can live YOUR life


And the right man (or woman) is still going to love you and cherish you


And hopefully one day, we will live in a world where this no longer matters



My journey has been filled with many up's and down's, but I eventually figured out that my worth will never be tied to the diets that I stick to or the work-outs that I participate in. I will have a beautiful, curvacious figure on my wedding day, and it will be my own imperfect version of the "perfect wedding body". There is nothing wrong with being healthy, sticking to your plan and doing everything the right way. But on the days where you do everything wrong, don't forget that you a freaking treasure! Your weight has never and will never define you. Love yourself first, and the rest will fall into place.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70885
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132475
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments