Pews
Squished seating, elbow to elbow, and hearing the crying of children down the row from you are all effects of the pews. Pews help people engage in interaction even if you feel like being isolated. They force unity, without spaces or cracks next to each other it’s a meshed atmosphere. Every Sunday morning I find myself sitting here. Next to my mom and the little girl from my Sunday School class who loves to play tic-tac-toe during the service, but not distractedly, and together we listen to my dad give the message. Pews, the same place where I’ve sung my soul out, sat in pain, but regardless, they have remained. They stay nailed to the floor without movement or capability to leave. Sometimes the pews feel like the only substance that is secure in my church.
Purpose
Are we supposed to be able to attend Sunday morning all put together? I mean sure, it's my favorite time of the week to match my boots with the perfect cardigan and scarf but that doesn't mean I'm guaranteed a struggle free lifestyle, just because I can dress fashionably. We get hung up on the placements of our own agendas that we forget to serve, and we supplement it with the best version we can think of, pretending. We get comfy in those pews because they won't leave us. We, as the church, forget the power of leaning on people. Instead, we struggle to smile, because we are shattered, but we shut up and sewed our spirits together for the sake of other people. We internalize the thought of "I had to please them," and justify the reason for our suffering. Somewhere in the processing of hearing God's word you didn’t have time to ask questions, and felt it your duty to just deliver the answers expected of you. But, you see, these things are not worth cutting the ties between people, He has called the church to build communities and build them within nations. It's easy to label our lives as serving a purpose, whenever in actuality we have just become witty at pretending.
Personal
To become exactly who God wants us to be takes courage, can be confusing, but is rewarding because you have new freedom within His arms. We have to come to the point that we have to live to serve Him, and accomplish whatever He deems as necessary. So, let's be honest with ourselves: what is God calling you to, and what are you holding on to? To know oneself means to lay out the premise of the underlying meaning of their life regardless of what’s physically there. I’ve discovered the beauty, in belittling the cruel lies I’ve fed myself over the years. I mustn’t continue to role play for anyone anymore, because my composer is not people but my personal relationship with God. To write my own story is to let the soul speak when the pencil is fearful to produce, even if it’s not pleasing to what people want to perceive. I can't hide behind the shadow of the Preacher's Daughter, I have to continually branch out because although the branches mean dangling off to something else, I have to build my own connecting roots with other people.
