So if you have been in church for any amount of time you have probably heard the story of the prodigal son. If you have not ever heard the story, then go read it, it’s found in Luke 15:11-32. Growing up in the church I heard the story of the prodigal son about a hundred times. Most of the sermons on this story focus on the son that cashes in his inheritance and leaves, only to return again after he spends all of the money. When preachers talk about the older brother, that stayed behind and did as was expected of him, they always seem to paint him in a bad light. They talk about how he did not want to show grace to the younger brother and how he was prideful because he stayed and tried to do what was right.

My whole life I have always seen myself as the older brother. My one sister was very much the prodigal “son,” that left and returned as it benefited her. This story always filled me with guilt and dread because, I knew that I identified with the “bad” character in the story. The Lord used this story to convict me many times, challenging me to love others like he does. In college God broke me and showed me how I am the prodigal son, and that I too need the grace of God. Although, I had a new revelation about my position in the story, it never took away my frustration that nobody ever tried to see the older brother’s side.

The older brother watched as his younger brother took his half of the inheritance and left. He left his family behind because, he thought he would be better off without them. The older brother, remaining at home, witnessed firsthand the heartbreak that their father was experiencing as a result of his brother’s leaving. He was left behind to try and put his family back together again. The older brother also had to help make sure that his younger brother’s share of the work was being done, so that the family continued to run as smoothly as possible. He stayed. His brother left. And in the end his is portrayed as the one in the wrong.

So then the younger brother comes to the end of himself. He realizes that even his father’s servants have it better than he currently does, so that he will just go home. After he had all of his fun, spent all of his money, did whatever he wanted, he would go back home. When he had nobody else, then he would go back to his family. The family that the older brother stayed behind and worked sacrificially and tirelessly to hold together after the loss of his younger brother. He would just go back because it was his only option.

When the younger brother comes home, the father is elated. He puts a robe on him, gives him a ring, and kills the fatten calf. The father throws a party! His son was back and he couldn’t be happier. Meanwhile, the older son is out the in the field working, like he did every day. He was doing what was expected of a son in those days. In the father’s excitement, he forgot to have someone call the older son in from the field. So you can imagine how the older son is feelings when he came in from a long day working in the fields and saw there was a party going on. Nobody remembered him. Nobody thought about him because, they were all so filled with joy at the return of his brother.

Now if you are honest with yourself, you know that if you were in his shoes you would not be happy either. You did the “right” thing and nobody ever threw you a party. But your brother, that chose to walk away from the family, comes back and everyone is over the moon. He has to be wondering how his father can forget everything that his younger brother put their family through. He has to be feeling slighted, left out, and outright angry.

So often we don’t think about how our actions effect those around us. We just do what we want and expect everyone else to be okay with it. Then, when they are not okay with it, we get mad at them or even become hurt by their reaction. The father could not understand why his older son was not jumping for joy to see his brother and accepting him with open arms. He could not see that the younger brother’s actions had caused pain and hurt, and that it would take time for the older brother to forgive him.

I think that everyone gets it wrong when it comes to the older brother in the story. Yes, he was prideful in the fact that he stayed and did what he was “supposed to do”. But I think that his pride stemmed out of his feelings of being unappreciated and hurt. He was hurt that his brother left, hurt that his father cared more that his brother left than that he was still there, and hurt that his father hadn’t even thought to call him into the party.

Both of the sons in this story were in the wrong in my opinion. Both of them could have done things differently. I just think it is unfair that the prodigal son gets praised for his wrong doing, while the older brother is reprimanded for his.