In psychology, there's a concept called the spotlight effect. Essentially what it says is that we as humans tend to think that in any given public situation, there is a spotlight on us that highlights everything we do--the good, the bad, the ugly, and the cringingly embarrassing--and makes it blatantly obvious to those who surround us.
This effect makes us think that our every move is constantly being watched--and that's a lot of pressure, despite the fact that most people aren't truly paying as much attention to you as you may think.
But being judged is a fear that many of us have, and as a result, we alter ourselves in order to seem less flawed. We cover ourselves up with makeup, become aware of our habits, change our clothes, and behave in a way that makes us blend in and cower in the shadows.
Well, I say to hell with hiding in the shadows and blending in with the crowd. Cast yourself out in the spotlight instead. Here's why.
The other day I heard a quote that really stuck with me:
You might as well be yourself because people are going to judge you anyway.
And if you think about it, it's true. No matter what we do, how we act or the way we look, someone is always going to be a critic. So why waste time creating this perfected version of yourself for when you're in the presence of others when someone is going to judge you anyway?
You might as well be the person you are when no one is looking all the time instead of only some of the time. It'll save you time and energy and create an abundance of happiness when you finally accept who you are and get to be that person all the time.
Plus, being yourself brings the right people into your life. It allows you to find those who accept you for who you are--flaws and all--and separate them from the people who will only ever look down on you.
Why would you want to be like everyone else anyway? That's placing yourself at a level so much more mundane than you actually are. Human beings are literally made of stardust, every atom combined in a unique way that creates only one you. And if you are the only you in the entire universe, shouldn't you embrace that?
So next time you catch yourself retreating into the shadows and shying away from the spotlight, remember this: you're pretty damn special--don't ever think you're not.
