I grew up as a Catholic. I went to Catholic grade school, a Catholic all girls convent high school and now am at a Catholic university. Going to church every single Sunday was a law in my family. I was surrounded by Catholics, all my family and all the people I met in school were Catholic or at least christian. I was taught the creation story, can recite psalms and moral teachings by the church like no other. By the time I was in high school, the catholic teachings were all that I was taught and still learning.
I remember being so excited to get my First Communion and be up on the altar like I saw my older siblings do. I remember shaking in the pew reciting what I was going to say to the priest for my First Reconciliation. I remember every Ash Wednesday, eager to see whose cross was darker and better. I remember sitting with my sponsor, not sure why or what confirmation meant.
I started to rebel; I tried to break free from the monotoned “bible says”, “Jesus preached” and “God. . .” beginning of sentences at school and at home. I kept asking myself, why do I believe this, why is there so much controversy over a topic that's supposed to solve and hinder life’s problems. Slowly, I began to distance myself from the church and started to get agitated when people would bring up the catholic faith and why people are wrong who don’t passionately follow every word, and every teaching the Catholic faith spurts out. This rebelling time, is a time that all people go through, a time of breaking from what you have recently been taught and setting off on your own to try to find out who you are and what you believe in.
That time was a time that I was most unhappy. I didn’t know where I belonged and didn’t know where to look.
I finally realized my first semester of freshman year in college. Nineteen years of being taught the Catholic faith, and just now was I realizing what it truly meant to me. I can’t believe it took me this long. I started to get stressed with school and anxious about my future. You could’ve called me a nervous wreck during that time. So I went back to what I was taught, fall back on your faith when times get tough.
So, I did. I started to retrieving to the chapel when I was stressed, and started going, once again, every Sunday. I found myself in the same place as I was in 8th grade during confirmation, confused. But, the difference was simple; I was now confused about my life which I so recklessly abandoned faith that I built up for so many years.
I don’t want to sound like some faith obsessed girl. I am a very average college student. But, I found that faith is something you have to hold on to. Faith is the only thing that can pull you out of that dark hole. Faith helps you through your greatest endeavors. Faith taught me to search for answers based on what was morally right for me and others.
Why I believe in Faith?
Easy. Faith is one thing and everything. It can help in all circumstances and no matter what, your faith will always be there.
