I wonder if people are going out tonight because honestly, I'd rather stay in and watch Iron Chef but if people go out then I prob-oh...okay I just got a message in the GroupMe and yes, everyone is going to Sigma Apple Pi tonight. OK. OK. I can do this. Everyone is excited... you should like the message in the GroupMe. Maybe comment? "Types out 'OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhhttt yaaaaaas."
Is that too much?
Yes. Yes, it is. *deletes message*
I'm going to absolutely hate myself tomorrow when I have to get up and do adult things and I'm a hungover mess. *Leaves out Pedialyte, Advil, water and the trash can for future me* I really should just stay in...nope there's another message from that diva Stepanie, "OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhttt yaaaaas" Wow what a lose — annnd everyone is liking that message. Just lovely. I should've sent it first.
Great now I need to pick out what to wear. This is always the worst part... I need to find something that I haven't worn before because my momma didn't raise no outfit repeater, something that flatters my figure (read: hot dog rolls) and something that isn't ~too~ revealing but doesn't scream future nun.
Ugh, I bet Stephanie is going to look great again as per usual. She always gets the guys anyways so why should I even care what I look like? I'll probably end up in the corner watching everyone having fun. No, no, no snap out of it. You're going to have a great time.
Shoot. I completely forgot about the pregame. Why do we have to pregame drinking BY drinking?? It doesn't even make sense. Why can't the pregame be the party and then I can go to bed earlier?
Ok, I'm here. I look pretty decent, Kanye's playing and people are already ripping shots. Do I join or do I go over and play pong? Oh wow, Derek is here. He's just so perfect... look at that smile. I think I'll just stand in the corner... no, no. Go talk to him! Make a move, girly! Breathe. Don't say anything stupid like the last time you saw him. He doesn't care about your cat's farts. Say something cute or funny.
"Are you a cowboy because you're the only ten I see."
Abort mission. Abort mission. That was neither cute nor funny. That was creepy. Oh look, Stephanie slid in next to him. You ruined your chances with him. Good job.
Let's just go to the actual party already. I need to twerk this entire night off. Man, why are the floors always so gosh darn sticky? And why is always so dark I can't see if this guy is cute or not.
Why are the lights on? Who turned off the music?? I was just beginning to have fun! *someone is yelling "shut up the cops are here!"* Welp. Looks like this party is busted. Time to go. I should probably get Stephanie's inebriated butt home — nope she's going home with Derek. Good.
Anyone want cookout?