Your Inner Monologue As A Person Who REALLY Doesn't Want To Go Out

Your Inner Monologue As A Person Who REALLY Doesn't Want To Go Out

We all have those thoughts at some point.
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I wonder if people are going out tonight because honestly, I'd rather stay in and watch Iron Chef but if people go out then I prob-oh...okay I just got a message in the GroupMe and yes, everyone is going to Sigma Apple Pi tonight. OK. OK. I can do this. Everyone is excited... you should like the message in the GroupMe. Maybe comment? "Types out 'OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhhttt yaaaaaas."

Is that too much?

Yes. Yes, it is. *deletes message*

I'm going to absolutely hate myself tomorrow when I have to get up and do adult things and I'm a hungover mess. *Leaves out Pedialyte, Advil, water and the trash can for future me* I really should just stay in...nope there's another message from that diva Stepanie, "OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhttt yaaaaas" Wow what a lose — annnd everyone is liking that message. Just lovely. I should've sent it first.

Great now I need to pick out what to wear. This is always the worst part... I need to find something that I haven't worn before because my momma didn't raise no outfit repeater, something that flatters my figure (read: hot dog rolls) and something that isn't ~too~ revealing but doesn't scream future nun.

Ugh, I bet Stephanie is going to look great again as per usual. She always gets the guys anyways so why should I even care what I look like? I'll probably end up in the corner watching everyone having fun. No, no, no snap out of it. You're going to have a great time.

Shoot. I completely forgot about the pregame. Why do we have to pregame drinking BY drinking?? It doesn't even make sense. Why can't the pregame be the party and then I can go to bed earlier?

Ok, I'm here. I look pretty decent, Kanye's playing and people are already ripping shots. Do I join or do I go over and play pong? Oh wow, Derek is here. He's just so perfect... look at that smile. I think I'll just stand in the corner... no, no. Go talk to him! Make a move, girly! Breathe. Don't say anything stupid like the last time you saw him. He doesn't care about your cat's farts. Say something cute or funny.

"Are you a cowboy because you're the only ten I see."

Abort mission. Abort mission. That was neither cute nor funny. That was creepy. Oh look, Stephanie slid in next to him. You ruined your chances with him. Good job.

Let's just go to the actual party already. I need to twerk this entire night off. Man, why are the floors always so gosh darn sticky? And why is always so dark I can't see if this guy is cute or not.

Why are the lights on? Who turned off the music?? I was just beginning to have fun! *someone is yelling "shut up the cops are here!"* Welp. Looks like this party is busted. Time to go. I should probably get Stephanie's inebriated butt home — nope she's going home with Derek. Good.

Anyone want cookout?

Cover Image Credit: elisfanclub / Flickr

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Yeah, I'm A Confrontational Woman, And It Scares The Sh*t Out Of People

Honestly, I just know what I want and won't settle for less.

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The look that I get from others when I say exactly what's on my mind will never get old. The shocked, open-mouthed, dumbfounded look. I can't help that I'm an honest person. I tell it how it is. I don't settle for anything less than what I deserve. Overall, though, I don't put up with no shit.

Since I have started school, I have realized how many passive aggressive people surround me on a daily basis. The kind of people who don't say a single thing, but boy, they're thinking it. I don't understand this.

Ever since I can remember, I have always been a pretty blunt person. If I want something done or don't like how something is, I say something. That's just how I have always been. In high school, I got the occasional weird look or nasty glare because of this, but in college, it's a whole different ballpark.

Day after day in college, I witness some pretty ridiculous things. Like, seriously. Ludicrous.

People accept the wrong meals at restaurants.

People don't correct prices for things they are purchasing.

People let people do literally anything to them, and it bugs me.

I'll never understand this. (The whole accepting the wrong food thing especially! I could never.)

I guess I could understand people being afraid of public speaking, or if they feel as if they're embarrassing themselves, but you just gotta get what you deserve in life, and nothing will change my mind on that. It's not that hard to ask a waitress for your correct meal. I know, I was a waitress.

Another thing I have realized from being a confrontational person is how much guys hate it. At least, the guys I have been with have. It's a big maturity thing in relationships. I'm the type of person who likes to tackle issues as soon as they come up, but the majority of guys I have talked to like to ignore them for the most part.

Sure, if you don't talk about it, it will go away.

That always works.

Basically, I'm just sick and tired of being called "rude" or "mean" every time I stand up for what I believe in or speak my mind on something that bothers me.

I'm not attacking anyone who lives the passive aggressive lifestyle of course. All I'm saying is I'm gonna keep on doing exactly what I'm doing, and if you have a problem with it, I already know you won't say anything to me.

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7 Ways To Not Be 'That Girl' On Spring Break, Nobody Wants To Be 'That Girl'

Sweet girls are the best girls.

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Spring break is coming up and I know we are all pumped to have a break. Let me help my ladies out so we can prepare ourselves to be sweet girls on spring break.

1. Drink SLOWLY

I know its spring break and wow let's get hammered! College! It's lit! Turnt! NO. Calm it down, sister. Drink if you want to, but don't get hammered at 10 a.m. If you want to get crazy, just let it happen naturally. Drink slow and pace yourself. There is no rush.

2. Don't post your whole experience

If you're in a sorority you really need to listen up. No one cares that you're drunk on a boat or underage drinking in Panama City. We get it. Most people drink in college. A few snaps or posts are cute and fun... but if I can give you a play by play of your drunken nights, it ain't cute.

3. Don't drink as much as you think you need

Going off the "drink slowly" comment. Pour your drinks sparingly. If you think you can drink seven beers and get drunk, drink five and then revaluate. Once again, pace yourself.

4. It is not like the movies, lower your expectations

Any spring break movie you've seen is wrong. Trust me, I expected a movie and I was disappointed. Spring break is so fun, but don't expect Selena Gomez to run around in her bra with you.

5. Focus on having fun with your girls

Yeah, boys and spring break seem to go hand in hand, but chill. Don't go crazy with the boys. Take time to have fun with your girls. You are away from the books and everyday responsibilities. Strengthen relationships with the girls you will have in your life forever.

6. Be safe, don't go off alone

GIRLS. STAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS. FRIENDS. STAY WITH YOUR GIRLS. Don't think Josh from Beta Kappa Jock is so sweet and wants to actually hang out. He could be a sweet boy, but drunk on spring break is not the time to figure that out. Stay with your girl and maybe one of Josh's friends will be fun to look at.

7. Don't be nasty

Just don't. Be careful and use your judgement. Have fun :)

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