Your Inner Monologue As A Person Who REALLY Doesn't Want To Go Out

Your Inner Monologue As A Person Who REALLY Doesn't Want To Go Out

We all have those thoughts at some point.
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I wonder if people are going out tonight because honestly, I'd rather stay in and watch Iron Chef but if people go out then I prob-oh...okay I just got a message in the GroupMe and yes, everyone is going to Sigma Apple Pi tonight. OK. OK. I can do this. Everyone is excited... you should like the message in the GroupMe. Maybe comment? "Types out 'OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhhttt yaaaaaas."

Is that too much?

Yes. Yes, it is. *deletes message*

I'm going to absolutely hate myself tomorrow when I have to get up and do adult things and I'm a hungover mess. *Leaves out Pedialyte, Advil, water and the trash can for future me* I really should just stay in...nope there's another message from that diva Stepanie, "OMGGGGG let's make moves toniiiggghhttt yaaaaas" Wow what a lose — annnd everyone is liking that message. Just lovely. I should've sent it first.

Great now I need to pick out what to wear. This is always the worst part... I need to find something that I haven't worn before because my momma didn't raise no outfit repeater, something that flatters my figure (read: hot dog rolls) and something that isn't ~too~ revealing but doesn't scream future nun.

Ugh, I bet Stephanie is going to look great again as per usual. She always gets the guys anyways so why should I even care what I look like? I'll probably end up in the corner watching everyone having fun. No, no, no snap out of it. You're going to have a great time.

Shoot. I completely forgot about the pregame. Why do we have to pregame drinking BY drinking?? It doesn't even make sense. Why can't the pregame be the party and then I can go to bed earlier?

Ok, I'm here. I look pretty decent, Kanye's playing and people are already ripping shots. Do I join or do I go over and play pong? Oh wow, Derek is here. He's just so perfect... look at that smile. I think I'll just stand in the corner... no, no. Go talk to him! Make a move, girly! Breathe. Don't say anything stupid like the last time you saw him. He doesn't care about your cat's farts. Say something cute or funny.

"Are you a cowboy because you're the only ten I see."

Abort mission. Abort mission. That was neither cute nor funny. That was creepy. Oh look, Stephanie slid in next to him. You ruined your chances with him. Good job.

Let's just go to the actual party already. I need to twerk this entire night off. Man, why are the floors always so gosh darn sticky? And why is always so dark I can't see if this guy is cute or not.

Why are the lights on? Who turned off the music?? I was just beginning to have fun! *someone is yelling "shut up the cops are here!"* Welp. Looks like this party is busted. Time to go. I should probably get Stephanie's inebriated butt home — nope she's going home with Derek. Good.

Anyone want cookout?

Cover Image Credit: elisfanclub / Flickr

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Signs You're An INFJ, The World's Rarest Personality Type

INFJ, from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator instrument, is believed to be the rarest personality type, and to make up less than 2% of the population. Oh, and I am one.
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INFJ, referring to one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, has become a bit of a buzzword in the media over the past several years. The reason behind it: INFJ is considered to be the rarest personality type, making up less than 2% of the world's entire population. They are labeled as "The Advocate," and have been described as "mysterious," "intuitive," and "emotionally intelligent," yet the type as a whole is often misunderstood.

Oh, and I am one. Perhaps you are, as well.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, created in the 1940's by mother and daughter, Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs, originally stems from the typological theories of Carl Jung, a prominent psychoanalyst. The test assesses an individual in 4 categories: Extroversion vs. Introversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs. Perceiving, and using these criteria, determines which category one’s personality most tilts toward. INFJs would be those individuals whose personalities favor the sides of Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

INFJs can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they are not prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized workers, and exceptional leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.

INFJs often report feeling lonely and "different," and for good reason. INFJs are low in numbers so they tend to have trouble finding others who see the world in the same realm as they do. Most people who are this type have admitted feeling different from their peers since they were a very young child.

INFJs take an all-or-nothing approach to life. INFJs, a curious mix of emotional and logical, do not like to waste their time on anything inauthentic. Although they may dabble with playing the field, INFJs are truly about quality over quantity and will become disinterested in anyone or anything they perceive as being fraudulent, scheming or wishy-washy.

INFJs exude warmness, and others immediately feel comfortable in their presence. It is not uncommon for a stranger to sit down next to an INFJ and within minutes, disclose their most personal secrets, fears and dreams. In fact, this happens frequently to INFJs with seemingly no rhyme or reason. This personality type has a knack for making others immediately feel at ease, and they are great listeners and trusted confidants who speak in human terms and meet others where they are.

INFJs are somewhat empathic, and they tend to "just know" things. One of my favorite one-liners from Game of Thrones is by the character, Tyrion Lannister, "I drink and I know things," and this can often be said of an INFJ, with maybe fewer libations. INFJs have a highly-accurate sense of intuition that they have been sharpening for all of their lives. Without understanding exactly why or how, an INFJ will see, within minutes of meeting an individual, their true character. As a result, they tend to be more forgiving of their friends who exhibit unruly behavior because they can identify the true root of the behavior, such as insecurities or past trauma.

INFJs ultimately seek genuine truth and meaning. This personality type does not care one iota about grandiose tales or extravagant gestures if there is not a true and genuine motive behind them. An INFJ’s calling in life is to seek insight and understanding, and as they develop, they often can spot a lie or half-truth in a moment's notice. If they believe an individual to be a phony or a manipulator, they will have no trouble writing them off. Likewise, this type often enjoys traveling, adventures and experiences that heighten their understanding of the intricacies of life and promote self-reflection.

INFJs are true introverts, yet people not very close to them believe them to be extroverts. This happens because INFJs can be social chameleons and have an innate ability to blend in in any social setting. The INFJ can be the life of the party for a night or two, showcasing their inviting nature and vivaciousness. However, this is never prolonged because, in introverted-fashion, they lose energy from others. Those close to an INFJ know that this type prefers bars over clubs and barbecues over balls, and can give a speech to thousands of people but cringes at the idea of mingling with the crowd afterward. Eventually, this type will need to retreat home for some quiet time to "recharge their batteries," or they will become very on-edge and exhausted.

INFJs have intense, unwavering convictions, sometimes to a fault. An INFJ has certain ideas about the world and a need to foster change in society. These are deep-seated and intense beliefs that they will never abandon. If a career, relationship, or law does not align with their moral compass, an INFJ will have no qualms about ignoring it or leaving it in the dust.

INFJs tend to keep a small circle of friends and prefer to work alone. Although an INFJ may have hundreds of acquaintances, if they call you a "friend," you can be sure that they mean it for life. This type can count their close friends on a set of fingers and they will be loyal and devoted to these prized individuals no matter how much time passes between their interactions. An INFJ can be a great team player but the idea of group projects and collaboration meetings naturally make them sink down in their seat. These are people who enjoy working from home or in a quaint office with a handful of like-minded coworkers.

INFJs cannot stand small talk. This trait aligns with the need to pursue truth and all things bona fide. To an INFJ, small talk not only takes energy, but has little purpose as it is merely speaking to fill silence without revealing any deeper layers of the individuals involved. Do not talk to an INFJ about the weather unless you want to see a glazed-over look. Instead, tell them about the causes you are promoting, the wish-list of your soul, or the way you smile every time you smell lavender because it reminds you of your great grandmother.

INFJs are typically high-achievers and people-pleasers. If you want a task done right the first time, hand it over to an INFJ. They will plan every detail down to the minute and will always deliver a glowing finished product. However, when delivering criticism to this type, do it gently, as they take every word to heart and are always striving for perfection. This type is a unique blend of a dreamer and a doer, but they can easily fall prey to extreme bouts of anxiety or depression centered on feelings of inadequacy or failure.

INFJs are gifted in language and are often creative writers. In accordance with their introverted nature, INFJs prefer to spend time alone and develop enriched inner-lives with many hobbies and skills. This type has trouble conveying their emotions verbally, so they turn to pen and paper. This, combined with their creative nature, leaves no surprise that the majority of successful writers are, in fact, INFJs.

INFJs make decisions based off of emotion and insight. An INFJ judges the world around them and the people in it based off of how they make them feel. This type does not care about track records and performance history, instead they look for the heart of the matter and how a person or company treats them personally. This type will trust their "gut feeling" about a situation and go with that, which has almost always proven to be accurate.

INFJs like to reflect on deep thoughts about their purpose and the world around them. This type is a thinker. INFJs are old-souls who spend a lot of time in their own minds reflecting on their purpose and the meaning behind everything that happens to them. They are often readers, researchers and intellectuals who truly enjoy learning. Although this is a noble endeavor, it is essential that the INFJ has friends, typically of the extroverted type, who can help them to be less serious and relax every now and then.

INFJs are visionaries who always see the big picture. This type tends to always operate about ten steps ahead. They are skilled planners and focus their sights on the end goal and what is needed to propel them there. However, while INFJs are off in dreamland about their futures, they can sometimes forget to be present in the world that is happening now. As a result, they do well with other more grounded types who can remind them to live in the moment.

INFJs are "fixers," and they gravitate towards people who need help. This type loves a good fixer-upper and with their ability to see the "good bones" of another person, their true motives and intentions, and to readily provide comfort and compassion, they fall victim to the Broken Wing Theory, or the idea that they can rescue others who have a "broken wing," or who have been dealt a poor hand. This can be rewarding for the hopeful INFJ but also frustrating and depleting when boundaries are overstepped.

INFJs seek lifelong, true-blue relationships. This type usually finds themselves with intuitive extroverts, such as the ENTPs, ENFPs, and ENFJs. These types connect with the INFJ on the deeper plane of intuition, yet also will get the INFJ out of their own heads and out on the town on a Saturday night.

Think you might be an INFJ? Find out which type you are here: https://www.mbtionline.com/.

Cover Image Credit: www.pexels.com

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32 Thoughts And Actions EVERY Hungover College Girl Has And Does The Morning After

"What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

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So, you went out last night and you had one too many drinks.

Sure, you promised yourself and your friends that you were only going to have "like two drinks" because you "have to be up early the next day."

That ~may~ have been your intention but you got to the party and there was free juice and beer, you started playing stack cup (a game you're REALLY not great at) which led to flip cup (also not your strongest suit), and you saw your ex from Sigma Apple Pi with his new girl and against your better judgment, instead of leaving the situation, your already intoxicated self decided to down two extra shots "for liquid courage" to go and confront that little playboy. Right as you tap him on the shoulder, you blackout.

The next thing you know, it's morning. And now you're hungover.

But don't feel bad! We've all had those mornings. The morning where you might have a few of the following thoughts...

1. "Ugh who turned on the sun"

2. "What time is it? Where's my phone? How the heck did I get home?"

3. *Tries to get up*

"Whoa, nope there's a 10-pound brick in my head"

4. *Phone is on 4%* *groans*

5. *Opens phone to find 13 missed calls, 29 text messages, and 18 unopened Snapchats*

"Oh. No. No, no, no, no who did I talk to? Did I talk to my ex???"

6. *Sees full but illiterate conversation with four different people including your ex* "NOOOOOOO"

7. "Why is my Snap story literally 5 minutes long? Who's that in it? Am I wall twerking???"

8. *Starts deleting snap story*

9. "OK. On the count of three, get up... one, two, two and a half, three"

10. *Finally gets up and immediately gets nauseous*

"That was a mistake"

11. *Runs to the bathroom*

12. *Throws up in the toilet for a solid 9 heaves while head is still pounding*

13. *Looks in the mirror to see last nights makeup smudged all over your face and your once-cute outfit covered in blood stains, mud, and dried alcohol*

14. "I'm a garbage person"

15. *Stumbles to the kitchen for water and Advil*

16. Roommate who has her life together: "Oh good, you're alive"

Well, kind of.

17. *Grumble something about never drinking again as you down the pills and about eight glasses of water*

18. You to everyone you went out with: "What the heck happened last night?"

19. *Gets 14 different versions of what you did last night*

20. *Tries to piece together how the rest of the night went*

21. "I booty called WHO???"

Mistakes were made.

22. "I gotta drop out of school now"

23. *Dry heaves another four times*

24. "God, why me?"

25. *Cancel any and all plans for the rest of the day in order to recover*

26. *Takes another Advil*

27. *Hangover shower*

28. "I'm never drinking again"

Roommates: "You say that every time you get drunk"

29. *Searches for munchies but only have healthy food*

30. *Goes to McDonald's or your local bagel shop and orders enough food to feed three people*

31. *Eats every single bite*

32. *Does the same exact thing the next weekend*

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