Dear person who always feels like a third wheel,
I know you feel alone a lot.
I know that you feel as if no matter how hard you try, nobody will seem to care. I know that whenever you're around other people, you're always the one to be singled-out, left out of a conversation for two that could easily be for three.
I know you feel as if you don't have friends, but there's the problem. You do.
It may not be a group of friends you see and talk to all the time. But the fact is you do easily meet new people and can easily talk to them. It's not like you're shy in the least. In fact, you could probably talk the most out of anyone in the room if you feel like it.
I know the feeling of feeling like you never have someone to count on or stick up for you. That it's always you against the world in any situation. That you could disappear and the majority of your friends could care less.
That is why you're mostly fiercely independent.
Why you like to do things yourself or why you like to be alone sometimes because you couldn't bare the feeling yet again of being left out.
It's not like you don't have friends.
You just tend to talk to a lot of different people, so it is hard to have any single one group of friends. You mostly like to hang out with one or maybe two other people as to avoid feeling like the awkward one standing behind two other people having a conversation without noticing you once.
And they might not even realize they left you out of the whole thing.
But you know what? You notice that they don't even seem to care to let you in on a conversation. And when you try, it always seems to go back to them because you might not be the most overly obnoxious person that has a comment about everything or the relatable person that always says the right thing.
So you give up.
You start to not even care when they're around because obviously they are gonna end up leaving you out again and you're left sitting there wondering what the hell is so wrong with you that they can't even talk to you when they don't have to.
Now the thing is you know that there isn't anything wrong and that you're a perfectly good person. But that makes it even more confusing. So maybe you're just hanging out with the wrong people who don't seem to appreciate you for everything you are. Because when you do click with people, things just make sense and you start feeling less of a burden on everyone.
Yet, society tries to make you feel like an outcast because if you're not always the extrovert loud person, something has got to be wrong with you.
However, to the people out there that feel this way. It is completely okay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being the third wheel or feeling like no one notices you. What is wrong though is invalidating yourself because you feel as if somehow your worth is defined by how the people who surround you treat you.
When, in fact, your self-worth comes from within. And you know this.
You know deep down that what your telling yourself in your head isn't true, but you can't help those thoughts of feeling worthless from rising up when you are the one left out.
But, the next time you're feeling down and you get stuck in this rut, leave the people who seem to be ignoring you and tell yourself positive things. Find better people who give you that feeling of feeling important.
Just remember that you're feelings of worthlessness are validated and heard. But most importantly, remember your worth is defined by more than the people who surround you.
Sincerely,
A person that can relate
