I made my New Years resolution to be more punctual. Update: It is over a month later and I have yet to succeed. Today, I have decided that punctuality will have to be more of a life resolution instead because living a step behind is a tiring reality.

At this point, my good friends know that if we have plans to meet at a certain time, I will be showing up a solid 15 minutes to an hour afterwards. My family has learned that if I say that I'm on my way, it means I just woke up. Jobs are the tricky part, because no matter how early I intend to leave I will always arrive five minutes after I should already be clocked in, even though I have high expectations of my own work ethic and professionalism.

What is wrong with me? Do I just not care and expect people to wait on me? Do I think that deadlines don't matter and that I should be given leniency while others manage to be on time? Am I just used to getting away with it so I continue to repeat my bad behavior? Of course not!

At 21 years old, I have finally come to a theory on my tardiness.

Certainly, this bad habit did not start in adulthood, I was born late. No, legitimately I was delivered a week after my due date. I came into this world on my own time schedule, and it's been a reoccurring issue every single day since. From missing the school bus by a few seconds and watching it drive away regularly in elementary school, to missing half of my classes in high school and almost getting kicked out of the district for attendance issues, I can honestly say that being late is my most consistent trait throughout life. Sorry, Mom.

I have been late to almost every college course, turned in way too many late assignments and have the worst attendance at work. It's exhausting! I can't even make excuses anymore because I'm tired of hearing them from my own mouth. Every time I set a goal to be more punctual, I let myself down most of all. This is terrifying as this chapter in my life involves looking for and applying to professional jobs to build my career.

Recently, I read an article that explained this issue better than I ever could have on my own.

I honestly wish I co-wrote the entire thing because it explains every point that I have ever tried to make about my chronic lateness. In summery, the article explains how the mentality that nothing will go wrong and the odds will be on your side is actually self-defeating in ways.

I pride myself on being optimistic and positive, but truly there are circumstances where I wish I was a realist, even a pessimist, so that I could be prepared for the inevitable traffic jams and red lights that add time to my morning drives. I wish that I could wake up in the morning and think clearly about the "10 extra minutes of sleep" that turn into me sleeping through all of my alarms and missing out on life. I wish I could prioritize the long term outcomes over the short term satisfaction of the things that put me a step behind (sleeping late, grabbing coffee and waiting in a long line, losing my car keys, forgetting to pack a lunch in advance, etc).

Unfortunately, I cannot use "being too optimistic" as a valid reason to not show up on time.

It is my own pre-planning and self awareness that can make a difference in my life. Time management is essential in order to be prepared and punctual. Though I feel constrained, restricted, and caged by the idea of timelines and punctuality, it is something that our society expects us to conform to as a demonstration of respect and responsibility.

I am definitely not the only one struggling to catch up with the pace of life. For those of us one step behind, remember that even the most ingrained habits can be changed. No matter what your resolution was this year, it's never too late to make it your reality.