Have you ever taken a second in your life and ask yourself what is most important to you? Do you know what makes it so important to you? In our society it seems that we only give value to things that are permanent. For example, we want eternal love with one person. Therefore if a relationship fails people say that it must not have been true love. However, is that correct? Does the fact that the relationship did not last forever mean that the feelings that came with the relationship were simply lust, or fake? I would argue that the opposite is true. Just because the relationship did not last forever that does not mean that the feelings in the relationship were anything less than real. Perhaps this idea of permanence equaling value comes from our way of life and our emphasis on time. I’m not going to try and convince you that time does not exists (although, it doesn’t but that’s a discussion for a different day) but instead I was to try and show a different perspective regarding the value of life.
One of the most life changing events for myself lasted one weekend. In just sixty hours, my life was revolutionized. This event was the Rotary Youth Leadership Awards, which is a leadership retreat that is run by the Rotary International foundation. This weekend taught many new skills, and taught me so much about myself that I really do not think I can explain, in a way that would do RYLA justice, how incredible that weekend was. This event took place in one weekend and then it was over, that’s it. Two days completely changed who I was a person. Is that possible? Should something that life changing be able to happen so quickly? Is time really as valuable a resource as it is said to be? Well yes, time is most certainly important; whether you believe in time or not, it is still a fact that we all die and therefore only have a certain amount of time on this earth as the individual we are today in this moment. However, to argue that it is time alone that gives something the value in things seems wrong. There are so many other factors that create value.
In a committed relationship today, if the relationship ends then it is seen as something that was simply full of lust and is not truly love. However, why does love have to last forever? Can you really not love someone for anything less than eternity? People change based on our experiences, I can say without a doubt I am not the person I was two or three years ago, we change and so do our emotions. Furthermore, why can’t love be something that ebbs and flows? Perhaps that’s exactly what it is. Think about those you love in your life, your family, friends, significant others, etc. Can you say without a doubt that those people have never done anything to make you question your love for them? I’m not trying to say that it’s impossible, but people annoy each other, we end up doing things to make each other angry, it just happens, that is a part of being a human. Perhaps though, the true test of whether or not you love someone is if it comes back after the passage of time. Do the feelings disappear forever? Or is that connection still there under all the mistakes? So many, myself included, are guilty of being upset by their significant other and leaving them because they believed that it was not love because a rough patch was hit. However, that is simply the farthest thing from the truth. Rough spots are supposed to happen, that is how you grow together, by working through your differences because you both realize there is something very special about the connection you share with your partner.
At the end of the day, is anything really permanent? If love is an emotion, and our emotions change, does that not mean that love is impermanent by definition? Death is inevitable (no, that’s not as bad as it sounds) and therefore, the death of our emotions is inevitable as well. That might make you ask yourself “what’s the point in doing anything then, if we are just going to die?” or “why does any of this even matter?” Well think of it this way, we may represent a small part of the history of the Universe but we are still controlling what happens now. Our lives, emotions, reactions to others do matter because they all affect the outcomes of the future. There may be a lot of history behind us, and a lot of future ahead of us, and some of the things we do will be forgotten; but our emotions and actions, even the ones that will be forgotten, have a substantial impact on the energy flow through the universe and what the future will look like. So instead of time determining the value of something, allow your feelings and emotions to dictate value as well, after all you can feel emotion but you cannot feel time in the same sense that you can feel emotion. It is deeper, it is meaningful and above all, it is who you are.
Go in peace friends, Happy Holidays.
