Resolutions are already tricky to set and complete but when you're a perfectionist, extra challenges get in the way. When you're too hard on yourself, you set impossible goals and fixate on your failures, which keeps you from reaching the finish line.
To set goals as a perfectionist, you need to adjust your system and consider your ambitions from a new direction. Let's look at a few ways you're tripping yourself up and how to fix your approach.
What gets in the way of perfectionists?
Even before perfectionists start working toward something, they know their weaknesses and what they should change about themselves. You can easily create a list of the things you want to fix but it all falls apart when you don't meet your exacting standards.
No matter how many things you check off your list, if you mess up one time, a sense of failure will overcome you. Instead of stopping after the first setback, check out these ways to restructure your expectations and conquer your ambitions.
Get started and follow through.
To keep your self-criticism from squashing your vision, you can develop a system that values progress over a perfect end product. Avoid frustration by taking manageable steps that will leave you energized, rather than empty.
1. Establish the right mindset
Whether you want to try meditation or spend intentional time thinking, you can begin by considering what you'd like to achieve. Think about what is in your control that you can change for the better. Aim for a growth mindset in which you focus on the actions that might make a situation better.
Brainstorm about your hopes for the new year and what you want to change. Jotting these down can help you distinguish between beneficial goals and unrealistic expectations. Generate ideas and inspiration so you can exhaust the possible directions for your resolutions.
2. Organize your goals
You can organize your potential goals into a few sections based on school, work, home, family or social life.
Another option is to separate your ideas by which person in your life you hope to appease because people-pleasing and perfectionism go hand in hand. Pick personally significant aims you can appreciate throughout the year.
Figuring out what you want most for the next season can give you direction and purpose. The different levels you set can guide your focus and show you where to look for gradual results. Establishing a system can help you reach success, too.
3. Prioritize your goals
Instead of tackling all the goals on your list and quickly burning out, eliminate several you've written down with the wrong intentions or that are unreasonable. You need manageable goals to invest time and effort in, rather than ones that will disappoint you. From your categories, decide which ones will significantly change your life and help you develop as a person.
You don't need to be the best in every area of your life but you can grow in a few areas. Give your attention to a handful of priorities, rather than tackling the whole list.
Better yet, choose one broad principle to strive toward in multiple areas of your life. For example, you could pick "adventure" or "confidence" as your theme for the entire year.
4. Choose one doable first step
Most goals are not cut and dried and they frequently take several steps to see a final result. Especially for perfectionists who want to enjoy immediate results, you need to break challenging tasks into increments, so you see each small success in a larger project.
Actionable moves allow your motivation to last longer. Instead of abandoning your resolutions before the end of the year as many Americans do, finish accomplishing your goals with realistic steps.
5. Incorporate positive self-talk
Perfectionists criticize themselves, which can quickly become negative and discouraging. Don't bash yourself while you're trying to improve yourself. Even your internal dialogue can contribute to your success.
If you replace your negative thought process with optimistic thinking, you can move closer to each goal and promote mental and physical health. Try to magnify the positive aspects of your projects, rather than dwelling on your mistakes. Instead of anticipating the worst, consider good scenarios, too.
When you turn to uplifting thoughts over negative ones, you can feel satisfied with your progress.
6. Recognize progress in your resolutions
Periodically take inventory of your motivations and critical tendencies during the year.
When you catch your negative thought process taking a toll, give yourself grace and come up with positive actions you can celebrate instead. You can alter your goals throughout the year, too. Goal-setting doesn't just apply to New Year's resolutions but can extend year-round.
Track your resolutions but aim for personal growth. You can feel fulfilled and victorious when you have a healthy mindset and manage your perfectionism.