Something about pulling up to my college dorm freshman year put my stomach in knots. Maybe it was the fact that a few short hours of unpacking would be the last quality time I spent with my family for a long time, or the overwhelming realization that moving in meant I was here for the long haul; eight months of class, four years straight. A lump sat dry and heavy in my throat as I watched campus unfold through the windshield that day. I swallowed it along with the rest of my anxieties and reminded myself of how fortunate I was to be a student at Syracuse University. College is the best years of your life, right? It was time for me to find out for myself.
Two years at school have served me incredibly well thus far. I made friends I can no longer picture my life without and gained the knowledge and experiences to shape me into a brighter woman. Most of all, being away at college has given me a lot of perspective on life. Though the trials and tribulations of the past two years have brought me immense clarity, there is plenty I know now that I wish I had known then. The best way for me to express how far I have come since my freshman year at college is to imagine the pep talk I wish I could’ve given myself when I pulled up to campus for the very first time...
To keep things both real and simple, I can summarize college into three B’s: Books, Boys and Booze, all of which you will encounter, all of which will play a vital role in your time at college.
Books; because you are here to learn after all. You’ve graduated from high school where being smart and involved is too often seen as “uncool.” Get a planner and go to class, even the ones that don’t take attendance. Ask questions often, let your voice be heard and make sure your professors know your name. Exhaust the resources that are available to you at school while you still can. Four years will fly by before you know it.
While you’re sitting in class the first week, take a moment to look around you. You share at least one common interest with all of these students no matter how different they may seem from you. So, don’t be a stranger. Reach out to people. Make new friends. Study together. Inspire each other. Never again will you be surrounded by so many brilliant minds working to solve the same problems. Think about the potential that lays in collaborations among your peers or even with students of different studies or backgrounds. The possibilities can be exceptional.
Boys. Sure you’re no stranger to male attention and affection, but college boys — fraternity boys — are a different breed that require caution. It didn’t take more than one night out on campus for me to realize that sex and hooking up was a high priority for a majority of students. Fraternities lined the streets and girls clad in mini skirts and crop tops lined up outside. First and foremost, understand that you do NOT need a bare midriff to attract a man. Second, understand that the type of man who is drawn to you by your risqué outfit likely has no intentions other than to get you out of it. Those being said, never underestimate the male capacity to charm you into thinking that going home with him is a good idea...which it may or may not be.
It should go without saying though, that you should never let a guy pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do, no matter how old or cute he may be. Odds are that if he can’t score with you, he’ll move on to the next unsuspecting girl until he can, probably using the same pickup line. Beware; boys can and will tell you what you want to hear to get what they want. This goes for long-term relations too unfortunately, not just one-night stands. Men can be ruthless when it comes to playing the field. Us ladies, just have to play better. Be flattered by a man’s interest in you, but never feel that you owe him a hookup. Better you go home alone now than feel like crap later when he never calls.
However, if you do decide to take your chances with a guy you’ve deemed worthy, know that safety comes before satisfaction. Don’t venture off alone with a guy you just met, especially if no one knows you’re leaving. Let a friend know where you’re going and when you think you’ll be back. Hooking up doesn’t have to mean sex either. But if it does, make sure he wraps it up. You may be on the pill, but that’s only half the battle. Condoms protect from sexually transmitted diseases and infections as well as unwanted pregnancies. You can NEVER be sure of your partner’s sexual history, or their partners’ partners too for that matter… Weigh your options before getting involved with a college guy. You might just save yourself a lot of time, effort and tears.
Last but certainly not cheap… Booze.
Let me first preface this paragraph by saying that you don’t need to drink in college to have fun and legally, you shouldn’t. You’re at school primarily to learn, but it wouldn’t be college without partying and booze, so listen up.
If you’re going to drink, know your limits. This is especially important at the beginning of the school year. Not only because you’re in an entirely new place, but because you’re surrounded by entirely new people, and you don’t yet know who would have your back if you were to get too drunk. You’ll want to avoid the sloppy drunk girl rep anyways.
Remember to never leave your drink unattended, have your liquor before your beer and understand that alcohol can be fatal when abused. Know the signs when someone has had too much to drink and look out for people who are past their limits. You are a part of a campus community now where everyone must act responsibly.
Hopefully, this talk hasn’t turned you into a complete skeptic or changed your mind about starting school. You shouldn’t live your college years in fear but you should always be cautious. It took being on my own at college for me to realize that the world can be a scary and unforgiving place. Only you can keep yourself safe at the end of every day. Only you can make sure you go to class, and only you can be sure that you make the most out of your years in college!
