The interwebs can be a wonderful thing...and for people (like me) with anxiety and depression, who never leave the house, Facebook is a great way to connect with people when you never connect with people. I am actually super nice to people on FB. People have actually made a point of remarking about how I don't name call and actually moderate fairly and all such...I guess overall, my cup is deep. But when it comes to people making stupid comments about mental health, I don't have a cup. I might have a saucer, if I'm feeling generous. Nah, I probably don't even have a saucer. That shit's just getting poured straight onto the counter, and running onto the floor. In other words, I'm calling them on their shit. Now, I do it kindly (or at least without profanity), but no stupid mental health comments are going to get a free pass. EVER. This is also the place where I break my own rule of not picking fights with other people's friends that I don't know. They can quote every factually unfounded and incorrect statement on pretty much any political issue, and I will let it go if it is a friend of a friend's comment that I don't know-and I'm actually an officer in my state political party. Make a mental health comment that further stigmatizes or belittles people, and you better be glad I don't know where you live. Just sayin'.

*Disclaimer-In addition to my own mental health issues, I have had to deal with five suicides/ODs among friends and families this past fall (from August through October). I know what happens when people don't get the help they need. I have literally seen the bodies it causes. That's why I take this shit very seriously.

All that being said, I still don't say what I'm really thinking most of the time. So, I'm going to give it a whirl here...Woo hoo!

You just need to exercise.

You just need to kiss my ass. I can't even get out of bed to take a shower. I sure as shit ain't gonna make it out the door to exercise.

You have fallen for the "Big Pharma" lie. Try this homeopathic/natural treatment.

I hope you choke on one of your twigs or roots or a big blob of coconut oil or whatever bullshit it is you are peddling. Giving people medical advice when you are not a licensed professional is irresponsible, and you are one of the people contributing to stigmatization of medical and pharmaceutical intervention for mental health. Therefore, I hold you personally responsible for contributing to suicide. What herb do you recommend for guilt? Because you deserve to have some-guilt that is.

You're not depressed. You are allowing negative thoughts to take up space in your mind. If you change your way of thinking, you can overcome this.

Fuck you. No, seriously. Fuck you. This is another condescending comment that makes people with mental illness have even more self-doubt and question their need to seek medical help. It is another comment that gets told by me is contributing to deaths.

You should stop taking medication "x" because....

Oh, Dr. Soandso, I didn't recognize you from your Facebook profile picture. If someone is crowd sourcing advice or opinions, then, by all means, please share your personal experiences. I have done this-not because I was going to change my medication regimen based on a Facebook comment, but because I was curious if others had the same side effects that I was having, or to give me a different direction I might want to try with my doctor during my next appointment. Unsolicited medical advice is rude and dangerous. We are having a hard enough time getting our meds adjusted with our doctor a lot of the time. I promise, your unsolicited opinion ain't helping.

You just need Jesus.

Uh huh...who do you think gave me this shit? Another very dangerous line of thinking. People with depression and anxiety already "know" they aren't good enough. But, thanks for adding an additional layer of guilt and inadequacy, you asshole. Now God can think they suck, too. If someone's cancer doesn't get better, is it because they, too, didn't pray hard enough? You think Jesus is the answer, why aren't you praying hard enough for it to have been fixed by your Jesus?

People who commit suicide are weak or cowards.

Throat punch time. As I said earlier, five friends or family members have committed suicide this past fall. They were not cowards. They were not weak. People with depression and anxiety are the strongest people I know. We make it through each day on earth, "knowing" that we have nothing to contribute, that we are a burden to everyone else around us. that everyone would be better off without us, that we'll never get better, and that nobody will miss us when we're gone. ("Knowing" is in quotes, because although intellectually we know that is not true, depression doesn't let our brain process our existence that way.) Please also process what I am getting ready to say in the spirit I am saying it. I am NOT advocating suicide-NOT AT ALL. What I am saying is this, however. We still fail to recognize mental illness (and I am speaking of depression in this particular case) as the disease that it is. An actual, diagnosed, major, painful, terminal disease. Were any of those five people cancer patients, or patients with degenerative neurological disorders, there would be some sense of, "death with dignity" surrounding their suicides. But when a suicide is related to mental health, there is no discussion about the fact that this person was in agony and saw no end to it in sight. A person with mental illness who ends their lives is making the same decision that a person with a "physical" illness makes. Again, I am not advocating for suicide-far from it. But, I know that I do wake up every single day knowing that this (depression) is going to be here every day for the rest of my life. And it is such a heavy weight. I do have a great support system, and I carry a tremendous level of guilt. And I also know how next to impossible it is to access psychiatric care in our country. All I'm saying here, is these people were in pain, and the thought of living under that level of pain and hopelessness is more difficult than people know. But, honestly, saying those things about the deceased isn't going to hurt the deceased person. It's going to hurt the ones left behind-who are already drowning in their grief and already consumed by guilt for not knowing things were that bad and not stopping it. In other words, you're being an asshole of the nth degree to a dead person's grieving family. What a shit.

Basically anything else.

Shut the fuck up. If you aren't saying something along the lines of "I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I love you and I'm here for you. Please let me know what I can do to help," then keep your mouth shut. You can google ways to be supportive. But, anything you say that puts any of the responsibility for having a mental illness back on the person who has it is shitty. Anything that is you impersonating a medical professional is shitty. Put asthma or something in the place of depression or anxiety or any other mental illness. Does your advice make you sound like a stupid asshole now? Then it makes you sound like a stupid asshole when you say it to someone with a mental illness. Here-I'll give you an example. "If you just appreciate the blessings in your life, you can overcome your depression." Now, try it with asthma. "If you just appreciate the blessings in your life, you can overcome your asthma." Wow! You'd have to be a total idiot to say that, huh? Same rule applies to mental illness. Don't be an idiot. Because I WILL call you on it. Because if you do any of this stupid shit, you are contributing to a society that is hostile to those with mental illness and you are contributing to the culture that makes it more difficult for mental illness to be treated. And you know what that means? That YOU are helping people die. YOU are responsible for contributing to suicide. I might not comment "fuck you" on your friend's thread, but I will tell you every single time that you are being harmful and contributing to suicide by your harmful comments. Every single time.