I'm sorry. I really am. Second chances are something I believe in, but in your case I've given more than just a second chance. I doled out third, fourth, fifth chances like they were nothing, dropped everything and let you back into my life regardless of what you'd done, anytime you asked. Being unconditionally forgiving and openhearted, that was the person I'd decided I wanted to be. I didn't realize what it was costing me. Didn't realize that it was slowly tearing me apart at the seams, exhausting me to the core to keep giving and giving and giving while all you did was take. So I have to let you go.

I say this with a heavy heart. I don't give up on people easily. But this past year has been one of brutal, disheartening mistakes and the equally brutal lessons that went along with them. I was forced to learn the hard way that people may stay in my heart, but not in my life. So I'm leaving you behind. I'm setting you down, I'm walking away to save myself. I don't want to set fire to any bridges and watch them burn; I will still love you and respect you, but now it will need to be from afar. Because now, it's time to do what's best for me.

I will focus the time I spent stressing over who I was to you, on myself. I will put how insecure you made me feel out of my mind forever, and stop letting it cloud my vision of how I feel about myself. I will allow myself to forgive, even accept apologies I haven't received from people who were definitely not sorry. I will look back on the memories I have with you and I will smile, because regardless of whether you ended up being more of a blessing or a lesson, you've changed me for the better. I will be at peace with myself, finally.

So much of what happens in our lives is impacted by the people around us. "You are who you surround yourself with," I'm constantly reminded. I spent a year learning lessons the hard way, not understanding why things kept going wrong no matter how much of my heart I poured into you. So I'm going to try something new. I'm going to give myself the love I've been thoughtlessly giving away and see what changes. I'm not sure what will happen, but I have a good feeling. And I urge you to do the same. If we were ever friends, if I ever loved you, it's because I saw something in you. If I'm leaving you behind, it's because time, mistakes on both our parts, fights or maybe just fate have made me forget what that was. But, I will be praying that you find it. I want the best for you, and so I hope you can understand that now I'm going to do what is best for myself too.