Trying To Move On

To The Ones Who Are Trying To Find A Reason To Move Forward

You are not alone. I am here for you.

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To Whom It May Concern,

I know you may feel worthless. You may feel like no one cares about you or loves you, or feel like everyone in your life would be better off without you. You may feel hopeless and abandoned. Lonely. Empty. Lost. You may feel stuck or close to giving up.

Now, I am not here to tell you that you'll be okay, or "it gets better." In some cases, sure. Everyone is different. Everyone handles situations and emotions differently.

However, I am here to help you move forward. Yeah, I know today may be really really bad, but tomorrow might just be bad, or it may just be OK. I have had my fair share of really bad days followed by okay days, but I do know what you are going through.

I know what it feels like to feel lonely and scared. I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. I have felt all of those things before, and here I am, having a decent day, telling you to have a better one. It is all your choice. Listening to sad music and feeling bad for yourself is not going to get you to a better day.

You have to start by thinking you are going to have a better day than yesterday. No matter what the current situation is. Even if there are people in your life that cause you pain, you have to believe in yourself that you can move past this. In 1, 5, 10 years, this will not be you. You will be better. You will have moved on. You will be having better days.

So, I need you to hold on. Try again tomorrow. If tomorrow sucks, try again the next day, but keep on fighting. Fight your inner demons and put every ounce of strength you have into that smile. Prove to yourself that you are better. You will be better. You can be better. Do not back down to any distress that tries to ruin your moment. Your moment of happiness grows as you begin to shine through all the darkness in your mind. Do not let those negative thoughts keep you in captivity from your angels. You have to keep your mind, and body in sync.

Breathe.

It is OK to take a break from your life. It will be there when you are in a better state of mind. So, take my strength in exchange for one more day. Give me hope that you will be here tomorrow. I need you here.

I need you to move forward. I need you to use every bone and muscle in your body to take another step forward. Each day is a new beginning. Make it your's. Hold on to what you have left of yourself and start to build yourself up back to the person you were, and if you didn't like who you were then build a better you. Become a person who is not afraid to stand up for what you want. Be loud and creative. Be intimidating and strong. Be opinionated and understanding. Be the best version of yourself and then be better.

Sincerely,

Irelyn

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50 Things To Be Happy About

It's the little things in life.
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It is always easier to pick out the negatives in life. We tend to dwell on them and drown out the happy moments. I asked a friend to tell me something that made them happy. They sarcastically laughed at my question then thought about it for a minute. Nothing. But they could easily come up with things that made them unhappy. Then I read them my list, and they were smiling and laughing in agreement the whole time. There are so many more things to be happy and laugh about than we realize. After all- it's the little things in life that can mean the most! Here are 50 things that make me happy. What are your 50?

  1. The first warm day of the year
  2. Laughing so hard your abs ache
  3. Freshly washed sheets
  4. Looking through old pictures
  5. The smell of a coffee shop
  6. Eating cookie dough
  7. Reading a bible verse that perfectly fits your current situation
  8. Seeing someone open a gift you got them
  9. Eating birthday cake
  10. A shower after a long day
  11. Marking something off your to-do list
  12. Drinking ice cold water on a really hot day
  13. Dressing up for no reason
  14. Breakfast food
  15. Being able to lay in bed in the morning
  16. Finding something you love at the store
  17. And it’s on sale
  18. Cute elderly couples
  19. When a stranger compliments you
  20. Getting butterflies in your stomach
  21. Taking a nap
  22. Cooking something delicious
  23. Being lost for words
  24. Receiving a birthday card in the mail
  25. And there's money in it
  26. Finally cleaning your room
  27. Realizing how fortunate you are
  28. Waking up from a nightmare and realizing it wasn't real
  29. Fresh fruit
  30. Walking barefoot in the grass
  31. Singing along to a song in the car
  32. Sunrises
  33. Sunsets
  34. Freshly baked cookies with a glass of milk
  35. Summertime cookouts
  36. Feeling pretty
  37. Looking forward to something
  38. Lemonade
  39. Comfortable silences
  40. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have more time to sleep
  41. Surviving another school year
  42. The cold side of the pillow
  43. The smell of popcorn
  44. Remembering something funny that happened
  45. Laughing to yourself about it
  46. Feeling weird about laughing to yourself
  47. Printed photographs
  48. Wearing a new outfit
  49. The sound of an ice cream truck
  50. Feeling confident
Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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13 Thoughts About Transferring To A New College

I have been asking myself if I should stay or go to a different school.

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I have asked myself the question, "Should I transfer?", so many times. Don't get me wrong, I like NC State and all. However, I'm not entirely in love with it. In some ways, I don't really feel like I belong here because of the environment I'm in. Everything is 'go, go, go' and there's never a time to breathe and take in everything. Maybe it's because of my personality and all but I have tried to give it my all into trying to partake in the college experience. I mean, I have been justifying why I should just stick to NC State out for the entire four years. Then, I have those thoughts that I should transfer.

1.  College applications round two.

2. It's a hassle getting everything organized to transfer to a different school.

3. Money.

4. Will I even like the school that I transfer to? 

5. You have to start over and make new friends.

6. Maybe I'll grow to love NC State.

7. It feels so lonely here even though there are over 30,000 students.

8. I work better in a small environment.

9. I don't have a lot of friends.

10. It's so much harder to get opportunities here.

11. NC State doesn't have the major that I want.

12. My sister is going to be even farther away from me when she goes to college.

13. I feel like a freak sometimes because of my introverted self.


I might not be able to change my thoughts and the way I am but these two semesters has given me the opportunity to see if I want to stay. I don't have an answer yet but give me next year and I'll give you one.

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