It’s hard to believe that the nation has been at war for over a decade. With it all going on for so long, it’s also hard to remember a time where there weren’t troops deployed in either Iraq or Afghanistan. Yet, despite the long years and thousands who sacrifice to serve, the divide between military and civilian families is still prominent.

There’s an incredible lack of understanding from civilians in the nation. The only exposure they have to military life is through the skewed lens of Youtube, Pinterest boards, or media reporting.

By far the largest misconception that’s been developed through the heartwarming homecoming videos, is that things go easily back to normal for everyone. Which is the farthest thing from true.

Depending on the situation, length of deployment, and individual personalities, it varies how difficult an adjustment can be. Soldiers often have the most difficult time adjusting back to civilian life. Going back to a civilian job, falling back into routine, even simply learning to sleep without the sound of gunfire are only minimal things they may experience.

Mary Blankenship, my lovely mamma, has been an Army wife for 21 years. Before she and my dad married, she knew he would be joining the military. Over the years, the same fact still maintains: it’s inevitable to be left behind, and it’s difficult.

Brian Blankenship, my one and only dad, joined the Navy during his second year of law school, continuing there for four years. Since then, he has left the Navy and been with the Army National Guard since 2001. Along with several deployments to places such as Egypt, Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Pacific, he has also been stationed in various states around the US.

Some people think it’s brave to join the military, and most think that’s why men and women make the decision to sacrifice their safety everyday. But no one goes into the military to be a hero.

His first major deployment to Iraq in 2008, for 14 months, was difficult for our entire family. He explained, “That first deployment; you really have no idea what it’s going to be like. You just get up every morning, take care of business and know that eventually it’ll end.”

Then it’s over.

The deployment's over, so now what? All the heartwarming homecoming videos are seen, and it’s wonderful for those first ten minutes of gratitude and bliss. Until it’s not. Coming home from deployment for any soldier wouldn’t prove to be as smooth and simple as assumed.

By far, the soldiers are the people most impacted by the lengthy deployments. My dad likes to describe it as a “sensory overload.” Things as simple as seeing clouds, blue sky, or feeling rain again are only the little things that emphasize how drastically their lives changed. Iraq was described by him as tan everything. The sky, the dirt, the air.

After soldiers finish long deployments and reunite with their families, most would assume that relationships would be normal as well. Even though that’s wildly untrue.

The people that are often forgotten in this situation, are the families of the soldiers. As affected as soldier can become from being deployed, wives, husbands, sons, and daughters are affected as well by their return.

Unfortunately enough, it is often that soldiers will be so disconnected upon returning from war, that at first they don’t even realize how different they have become.

Soldiers often times find themselves longing for a place to fit in after being back. They even feel as if their family has lost a need for them anymore. There was a particular purpose waking up every morning over seas, and adjusting back to what average people would consider daily life, is a struggle.

This was what my dad experienced himself upon returning from his deployment to Iraq, as do countless other active duty soldiers. In many ways life overseas is much easier for a soldier. This is a concept that no one would think to be accurate but things like food and laundry are consistently provided. There’s not even a need to drive a car most of the time.

Every person there has the same collective purpose and are highly motivated. Everyone is going through the same thing. These factors make the environment something a soldier becomes assimilated to over time. However, upon coming home, things that people generally think are normal, are now stressful, even awkward tasks for soldiers to handle.

For so many, being away for extensive periods, results in them feeling less comfortable in a safe place, like the US, rather than in a war zone. As my dad told my brother and I before, “Your normal gets reset.”

But any soldier serves because they want to.They like the job, people, the fact that what they're doing is important, and form bonds unlike any they’d known before. There’s certainly a lot of bad that goes along with the experience but soldiers find it fulfilling and incredibly rewarding.

The reason why the deployed prefer it so much overseas is because it’s not like that back in the US. This can be what leads to the anger and frustration of the soldiers returning home.

Within several days, a soldier's life changes from defending an attacked base that’s being bombed to eating lunch in Downtown. Everything here that’s normal, over there, is a chance to get killed. Going from looking out for roadside bombs in disabled cars or even dead animals, to driving in a civilian environment, forces the soldiers to remind themselves constantly of the safety that they’re now so foreign to.

This commonly is an aspect that leads most soldiers to PTSD after returning from deployment. Traumatic events that a soldier may experience, affect each person differently. Some may go through things they’ll never be able to get over while some improve their state with time.

A simple fact in the US is that less than 1 percent of the American population is active duty military. Meaning, that the rest of the nation will never see or be able to understand, despite the efforts of media today to portray it.

Most people also don’t even know anyone in the military, let alone are aware of the families. Perceptions are made through what is seem and easily accessible on TV or in the movies. Despite attempts, Hollywood can’t seem to show what it’s actually like even when they try.

The war is far from over when the soldiers return. It sometimes taking months or years to build relationships back and allow the soldiers to find their comfort once more.