They say you should write about what you know, and I know how to stretch a measly 10 dollar grocery budget by making really pathetic corn tortilla recipes. Here are some of my more desperate creations for your enjoyment and my mortification.
These recipes rely heavily on having a roommate who buys groceries and then leaves town for a few weeks. I’ve put a star next to every ingredient acquired in this way (they are most of the ingredients).
Pate Taco
Ingredients
The end of a tube of pate that your roommate left in the fridge before going on vacation*
Corn tortillas
*Pate is fatty goose liver that’s been pureed into a soft meat paste and sold in a meat tube, kind of like meat toothpaste. The pate featured in this recipe also has processed pork and chicken paste mixed in for some reason. I didn’t question it, as I was just happy to have some protein in the house.
Steps
There isn’t much to this recipe aside from wiping pate onto a tortilla. It tastes okay.
Peanut Butter Taco
Ingredients
Convenience store peanut butter
Corn tortillas
This recipe was inspired by me wanting some protein and the fact that I had corn tortillas. This is sort of like a peanut butter sandwich, except it’s not. Peanut butter is actually a great investment as a grocery staple. It’s sort of healthy, it lasts a long time, it makes a great snack, and it’s good for when you’re craving that sweet, sweet necessary nutrient called protein.
If nothing else, this article is hopefully a lesson that you can call practically anything a taco as long as it’s on a tortilla.
Steps
1. Steam a corn tortilla in the microwave to make it soft and edible. Sometimes I microwave it under a wet paper towel, but most of the time I put it under the lid of an old Chinese takeout container to steam.
2. Spread peanut butter onto one half of the tortilla. Fold it in half. Be surprised about how weirdly good it tastes.
Optional: You can also spread margarine or butter onto the other half of the tortilla, as a kind of a riff on the peanut butter and butter sandwiches I used to eat as a kid. On a sandwich, this combination tastes great. On a tortilla, it doesn't really taste any different than the plain peanut butter taco. It's just a fun way to add extra steps to this sad meal.
Cheese and Olive “Pizza”
Ingredients
Fancy Edam cheese*
A container of black olives from a salad bar*
Corn Tortillas
Steps
1. Place one tortilla on a plate (or in the old Chinese takeout container)
2. Sprinkle pieces of fancy cheese on top of the tortilla.
3. Cut up pieces of the salad bar olives and put them on the cheese.
4. Place another corn tortilla on top, and steam in the microwave until the cheese melts.
This is actually a genuinely tasty recipe and a cheap way to make things that approximate the taste of pizza. It's like the saying goes: one man's leftovers is another man's ingenious pizza taco.
Honey Butter "Crepe"
Ingredients
Honey*
Butter*
Corn tortillas
Steps
1. Steam a corn tortilla in the microwave.
2. Cut that sucker in half.
3. Wipe a piece of butter onto each half, then spread honey on top.
4. Fold them into interesting triangles that look like tiny crepes.
5. Pretend you're a fancy French person dining out on petite amuse-bouches for your own pleasure, and not because it's the only sweet thing you have. Bon appetit!
